A Virtual Canvas

HUT-a new vision

2010-05-24T21:52:00.001-07:00

I just spent two weeks at HUT, Harding University at Tahkodah, a program that prepares people to go into the mission field. I learned so much during these two weeks. I was stretched beyond anything I had experienced before. We simulated what it was actually like to go to a foreign country, and to experience living conditions, culture, and government. I felt the anxiety that came from the rain clouds and the lightening in the distance, no knowing whether I would be dry that night while I slept. I felt the uneasiness that came from not knowing the language and how to properly communicate with the people. I felt the vulnerability of being in a situation and having no way of coming out of it, a fixed fate. I can not even say I have truly experienced these things either, because at the end of the day I knew I still had a home to go home to at the end of those two weeks.

This course taught me so much, it taught me how to kill chickens, how to start fires, how to plant a garden, along with the importance of composting. It also opened my eyes to the reality of the poverty in the world, the limited good, and the limited resources that are unevenly divided in the world. I can not understand why some people have so much, while others have so little. Why Americans never have to eat the same thing twice, when there are people who are lucky to get even a cup of tea before their hard day of work. I do not think I will ever understand this, all I can do is ask God, and look to him for a way to help in anyway I can. I hope I never ever forget this either.

HUT really stretched me, and it really just strengthened my passion for going to Zambia. I know it will be a hard road, but I am so excited for what God has in store for us. We are called to be separate. We are called to be his servants.

Religion that God our father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself from being polluted by the word. James 1:27

In Him,

Kayleigh

2009-08-01T22:15:00.000-07:00

Where is he found...when there is so much to distort the eye from the essential
being that we are to live for. Where can we run to, when even our own faith in
him is being distorted and strained through the hands of others, ringing every
form of life into a bottomless cup that will only run dry.

You have no idea how much I long to be utterly and wholly without strain, or conflict,
or drama in my relationship with Jesus. I feel like it is so simple, but the pain of
earth can so easily distort. I am sick of twiddling down my faith to fit into a mold,
to fit a liking or a expectation.

I'm sick. SO sick. SO SO SO sick. Because if this is Jesus...I don't want it. If what I am feeling right now, is the real deal, then this is not love. This is not free love of a saviour...this is earthly control fit into a fairy tale story...set to keep more
people under a will that is not their own. I'm sick of man made doctrine and plastic religion. I don't need that. I need Jesus.

NO wonder so many people think of Christianity and get sick to their stomachs,
or find the term humorous. Please just keep your world, keep your expectations...I
want Jesus. I want to be able to serve him freely, but what HE says and HE
instructs...if I can't have that, I don't need any of it.

2009-07-05T14:34:00.000-07:00

I stare within my constant vision,
a light and quiet peace.
Viewing only what I can see with
my mortal eye, oh how much more
seeps through beyond what is
touchable, what is questionable and tame.

What do we hold in our minds...a reality
set in stone. Who holds to the key
to the richest price, richest of fair.
The key to the very air that
whispers our thoughts and steals
our breath away
as our lips take in the smell,
and our noses instruct
the senses to the vast realm
beyond.

I am but a leaf in this tree...but
a droplet of dew upon a blade of grass,
smothered among a vast field of
impressible, uncontainable
organic beauty.

2009-07-02T20:59:00.000-07:00

I'm longing for something.
Something alive, cold,a breathing beating something...
that could awaken my sleeping body and
strike a fire within me.

I need something maddening and crashing,
an awakening of self. Who will come to
feed...to give this need. And all I am hoping for is
useless.

Step once onto the rocky soil, and feel the wind around
my face, wisp wishing inside my hair. The smell of
blood is in the air..an erie silence fills the ear.
Something is coming, a light is blooming, a change is
near, it's looming over me.

I see a cloud in the distance, swirling into a shivery
dark mass of anger and pain, filled with the tears
of a thousand years. Champions and warriors, the
blood and sweat of a thousand men all poured out in
this one thunderous cloud. I gaze under
and my eyes fall upon him.
Blood...oh it drips through his eyes, mixing with tears as he cries..
father forgive them. Before he takes his last breath,
he stares me straight in the eye.

Oh what a maddening, earth shattering, heart moldering, gut
wrenching, mind blowing fire. This fire that has
consumed me. That man who I guess knew me, very well indeed..
he suffers, he cries, he wails, he suffocated right in front of my eyes.

He has convicted me. He is awakened me. That what I do on this Earth, the least of these, is done to bind up the wounds of the world, is done for he.

Oh Jesus you died. You died, you freely gave what I never could have given. You surely gave away all the love I'm too scared to give. Must I keep living like I never knew you, like you were just a flower crushed on the ground.

Your alive...and oh that scarlet blood, shall it wash me, so that my hands can give even an ounce of cleansing to this world...and give glory to you.

I think Im breathing...and I want to pass it on.

2009-07-01T20:52:00.000-07:00

I feel like I have been more confused in the last month than any time in my life. But it is a strange confusion, because I feel like my eyes are open and my lungs are breathing...for the first time. The first time I feel Jesus. I feel him in my life and i see my purpose in my life. I just feel like so much of my life has been full of me...and what I need, what I want. Its been all about my issues and for the first time in my life I can stop and see him.

It feels like I'm breathing...feels like I'm moving. I finally get it. I need to have nothing but him in my life. Because if I am to give people hope and love...then I have to have him. Because I can not hope in anything outside of him. NOTHING. Nor love anything outside of him. Because he IS love and hope. HE IS. the I AM is LOVE. THE I AM is HOPE.

I want to be a teacher. I want to be one of "those" teachers. The ones that are a beacon of light to their students. The ones that can be trusted with anything..the classrooms that are not classrooms but rooms of refuge, away from the norm of public school chaos. I want to be that...to minister...to share..to be there. So many times in public school, I saw so many just dying for attention...calling out...and there was nothing...only those few teachers that actually cared. That were not only there to get a pay check...the ones that could have been making so much more money...but chose to be there. I feel like there needs to be more cushions there...cushions that break the falls of these kids...that tend to slip through the cracks. BREAK SILENCES...silences that are deadly...that break kids to breaking points where they will be willing to kill, to steal, to take their own lives...in order to feel or be noticed. WHAT IF SOMEONE WAS THERE TO LISTEN?????? WHAT IF SOMEONE WAS THERE TO CRY WITH THEM? Maybe so much pain could be spared.

2009-06-10T20:57:00.000-07:00

Tonight was beautiful. Tonight I got to have a wonderful time with some awesome friends, and spend some much needed talking time with my wonderful friend Mandy.

Sitting under the stars sipping our iced coffees with a hint of soy milk, watching in annoyance the mosquitoes that were flying around our heads, just talking...it was really a breath of fresh air. It just got me thinking, how wonderful is it to be able to share thoughts, confusions, pains, fears with someone and understand and feel each other in such similar ways. I think that God really did create relationships to be like that, to be able to aid each other in figuring out these things that just trip us and knock us down. We are never alone in our troubles.

I say this because I realized tonight that I really need to start following my heart. Like for instance, I have decided that no matter the cost, no matter if I end up a simple art teacher, I am going to choose the "risky" road and be a fine art major.

I recently found a volunteer opportunity at the children's hospital in Little Rock, and they need volunteers for something called the art cart. It is where they have someone go around and do arts and crafts off of this cart with all the patients in the hospital. Oh my goodness what a perfect opportunity that would be! So hopefully this will work out and I will be able to do this for a while. I think it might be a solution to my future...this might just be what I want to devote my life to, simply doing art with people and helping them cope. :)

How awesome is it that God can take the passions that he has placed in our hearts, and direct them toward helping others and furthering his kingdom. In ALL things we can glorify him no matter if it is hair dressing, or cooking, no matter what he can use it and I am beginning to really learn that. :)

Thanks for reading.

Love KB

Oh me and my...life decisions.

2009-06-07T19:47:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been feeling like my life has been changing. Of course my life has always been changing, and everything in life is in constant motion. But this change is something that I am so unsure of...not unsure as it not welcoming, but maybe confusion is closer to the word I am looking for.

I thought that I had my life all planned out. I thought I knew every piece to this puzzle and it was so easy to say, I am this major and I will be doing this in 10 years. Right now I am completely lost. I used to at least have a compass pointing me in a general direction but no, no compass no map no nothing. Yikes! I am so confused and upside down about so many things, and God has been sending me these differn't thoughts, differn't ways that my life could be lived and I have no idea where my place should be.

I want to be a missionary, but is it in the states or in Africa. I am an artist, do I devote my craft to graphic design or to art therapy, or am I to take a "risky" road and be simply a fine art major. I don't know because see when I look down the road and vision my self in 10 years I see Jesus. I see him helping people...and I see him using my art to do that. I can not see Graphic Design anywhere in that. But do I take the career field that will make me enough money to be able to support myself, or do I trust him. DO I defy everyone around me, including my family, telling me I should be "smart" and make my education count. Make money! Because that is the important thing in life! And no they dont say that...but I feel like that is what I am saying when I chose graphic design. I dont' know. I am soo confused. All I know is he is my future. He is alive. His church should be alive...and that brings up another frustrating confusion that I can't even begin to explain right now.

I know I have a lot of thinking and following and praying and trusting and be movable...plyable....because I guess that is his plan to be able to mold me and direct me. I thank him and praise him that I am not alone in this...it's such a comfort to know he leads me. Pray for me if you read this. Thank you. :)

Love KB

DID YOU KNOW???

2009-06-05T21:53:00.000-07:00

That companies such as Disney, Nike, Gap, Old Navy, Coca Cola, Pepsi co/Frito Lay, Walmart, Adidas,
Kohl's, and many many many more have all been proven to use or have used illegal sweatshop labor, and
or unruly treatment of their workers in factories?

According to research that I found, sweatshop workers earn as little as 1/2 to 1/4 what they need to provide
for their families, basic nutrition, shelter, clothing, education, transportation etc.

Sweatshop workers are
forced to spend about 75% of their wages alone to meet basic nutritional needs.

Almost 75% of a garment is pure profit
for the manufacturer.

For less than 1% of Nike's advertising budget, wages could be doubled for all workers making Nike university clothing.

Common sweatshops include, tires, auto parts, shoes, toys, computer parts, electronics, clothing, and food.

The U.S. government often gives foreign aid to those same countries whose poverty is directly effected by exploitation
by US businesses operating abroad.

According to the Department of Labor, over 50% of U.S. garment factories use sweatshops.

This is just disgusting, and not acceptable. I really have no idea what I can do at this point, except for
obviously ending my support for these products immediately. But here is a site that will give you a ton
of info on the companies that are leading this problem, along with a lot of research sources that
back up their info.

http://www.greenamericatoday.org/programs/responsibleshopper/learn_hub.cfm

2009-06-05T21:29:00.000-07:00

WHEN we have NEW EYES
we can LOOK into the Eyes of those
we dont even like,
and SEE the ONE WE LOVE.

WE CAN SEE GOD'S IMAGE in EVERYONE
we encounter.

IN the F A C E of the OPPRESSED
I SEE MY OWN FACE.

I N THE H A N DD S of the OPPRESSOR,
I SSEE MY O W N HANDS
their flesh is my blood
their pain is my pain
THEIR SMILE IS MY SMILE.

WE ARE OF THE SAME DUST

WE CRY THE SAME TEARS

NO ONE IS BEYOND REDEMPTION!

AND WE ARE FREE TO IMAGINE A REVOLUTION THAT SETS BOTH
THE OPPRESSED FREE AND THE OPPRESSORS FREE. <3

Let them blow away

2009-06-05T21:17:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel so lost in transition,
like this whole world is spinning on it's Axel,
upside and inside out,
but my head is turning another direction,
and I find that we have yet to cross that line
between radical and ordinary,
it seems we've found a quiet place to lie,
and she's been sleepin for a long time...far too long.

We have to have our covers blown, and the quiet little
shelters blown away
until our words are so jumbled from being contained so long
that they fly out of our mouths and join the dancing of our
brothers and sisters that are still holding on.

And I feel like there are gaping holes in our eyes,
we fail to see the dirt,
but we get lost in every shiny penny that falls at our feet.
OH cant we loosen our tongues
to sing this song...that can untie our heats and keep us
movin on.

And we have to have our covers blown,
and the quiet little shelters blown away,
until our words are so jumbled from being contained for so long
that they fly our of our mouths
and join the dancing of our brothers and sisters
who are still holding on.

Oh let it all blow away,
until we are all dancing and singing
this song of new meanings.
OH they are still holding on.

Lonliness...a rich man's grave

2009-05-29T21:11:00.000-07:00

He's ragged, he's worn.
His clothes...they are stained and torn.
Unsettling
Harsh
The stench how it seeps, and he reeks of this
foul drink,
of a lifestyle so far from peace.
Far from the light that his lonely heart needs.
He is cold, and they hate him.
They mock him, they disgrace him.
What sickness does penetrate so deep,
to turn a man so far we can't even weep....
In his packet there lies a buck, or two,
perhaps he has a few grand. No money he
has no need, you see he is a rich man
full of lies and full of greed.
This man has a hunger,
of something to feed,
a sickness so deep,
Loneliness will be,
his tragic end.

2009-05-29T20:47:00.000-07:00

What if Jesus was serious when he said...take everything you have and give it to the poor, take your cross, follow me, risk everything, lose your life...all for my sake. What if he meant it?

Lately I have had so many mixed feelings about so many things. Frustrations with the church, and frustrations with my spiritual life, questions and issues that have been just plaguing my mind on how exactly do I serve this God that I know is real and in my life? How do I serve him with my life, when for one there are so many different views for his church and I just haven't been able to put my finger on the right one.

I've been feeling like what is the point of church. Now don't get me wrong, I think that church is extremely important. The church is the family of God and he has commanded us to "do" church. But "going" to church on this designated day, to go to a building where so many people get lost in the crowd, so many just go to go and sit and think about whats for lunch or actually listen, but never ask questions and never feel anything. I think Church is great, but lately it's just been bothering me. There is a huge disconnect, I feel. We are going to this place, but we are not really sure why, or how to do this thing we have been commanded to do effectively. What if we came and we mingled together, and shared our fears, our struggles, our questions, talked, discussed, grew together, dined on his supper, prayed at his feet, worshiped, what if??? Why a building why pews why dresses??? Who are we glorifying in this?

Well today I received a revelation. I don't know where the issue of church will fit in this yet, but lately, I have been thinking that I need to find a career that is suited for me. So that when I graduate I can get a job, make money get a family, and go to church, do mission work etc. But it hit me today. This is the American Dream. NOT my dream. A career is wonderful. But its not my vocation. Jesus is my vocation and the career that I chose has to fit that. I believe that my life needs to be radical. Jesus was radical, his disciples were radical...they were "rooted" in the way of Jesus, of showing this world there is a better life. I believe that I need to use my gift, art, in my vocation, and my career should fit this. Now what that career will be or how I will achieve this I have NO idea, but I do know that it will be in the states, and that God will lead me.

There are so many here in our country that are lost. I want to be able to help. I want my life to be a beacon...not a strobe light, but a gentle beacon shouting Jesus through my actions, not through bible bashing, no....through LOVE. As Shawn Claiborne says, there are many seekers of his kingdom that can not find Jesus because the lives of Christians around them are making such horrid noise they can't hear the whisper of Jesus himself. I want to spread his whisper. I have no idea what I will do in the future...but I want to start right now. I am sick of saying I want to go on a mission trip....because I am in a mission field. I want to act. And I am frustrated because I can't figure out where to start. I pray he will lead me....and I know he will.

Storm

2009-05-08T19:56:00.000-07:00

The rain is pouring down. I can feel it's cleansing as it pours, listening to the sound, I know it is you. There is a feeling that everything in this world is under a glass box..every control is being made and every rotating piece of this world is in it's orbit...and I'm breathing here in this tiny room...just listening to the magic that I have no control over. To think that my fingers can feel this rain, but they can not begin to feel every piece of wonder absorbed deep within this drop...where it has journeyed, from it's home all the way to my finger tip.

I know you have brought this rain...this down pour mimics your glory. Showing how you wash away everything within it's time. You wash away my sin just as every leaf will be cast down this stream and forgotten. And the thunder it roars and groans in the night, your voice still resonates...no matter how many try to snuff it out.

I'm speechless of what to say, what words to utter to show how the understanding has found me. I haven't reached that place...I haven't gained the understanding to be worthy of speecing in your presence. I can not begin to explain how I feel...it's a chaotic, confused, joyful, mornful, melancholy feeling...completely contradictory and meaningless until I come to understand that YOU are the piece that will fix every single inch of my confusion..of my uncomplete answers. I just want YOU. God..Father...Omega...Redeemer...all will cease..but I find you ceaseless in this storm...present in the lightening crash and the wailing winds...ceaseless when the thunder roars in side this violent craze. I want to be home. I want to go home. See home feel home be home.

I have seen so many crazy Earth shadering things in the last week and all I know is that I don't like this world. This world shaders my heart, tears it to pieces, ripping..shredding. And how thankful am I..to have a mender.

It is so silent. All I hear is this storm. This Rain. I know you are here. Your hand is upon me. You love pours within this rain. I love you.

Christmas....Lilies of the field?

2009-05-07T21:08:00.000-07:00

WOW it has been a really long time since I have written anything on this blog. Time has passed and things have changed. I don't even know where to start,

How about this. Why do we celebrate Christmas? I understand Christmas is a celebration of Christ and his birth, even though "technically" we don't know that he was born on this day. Lately I have been having a really hard time with Christmas. Which is weird...because clearly Christmas is a very long way away. But It just seems so meaningless and ridiculous that we have to spend so much on ourselves, on our families, when there are people in this world that don't have anything.

Christmas is usually something I look forward to...it is a fun time, but I have been convicted of the fact that most of the excitement that I feel is "What will I get?" I I I...I become so consumed with what things I will be receiving, how many gifts I will have, and once it's all over, money is spent, time is passed....I forget about half of these things.

Lately, the idea of a simple life has just been drawing my heart. The idea that one could live so simply and beautifully without want, but not consumed with materials, not laden with stuff...no 60 hour crazy run run work weeks, or a husband who is so busy that he has to rush out the door without giving you a warm kiss goodbye...just a life full of light and peace, joy and sunshine...having time to lay in the grass and soak up the sun, feeling the light breeze on your face listening to your children playing around you. Your family of Christians right beside you every step of the way...through good times, through the tragic life shadering moments...or even the gloomy days in between.

I know that Christmas...isn't the problem...it's not the soul issue in materialism. I know that most of our lives are so consumerized that even our 4 dollar cups of coffee can't seem too bad. And believe me, I love my coffee and this is going to be terribly hard to break....but I just thought I would share this. Please comment if you have any thoughts. :)

Beautiful Distortion

2008-04-15T20:09:00.001-07:00

THis is the piece that won 1st in AYAA State Art Contest. It stands 4 feet tall and 3 feet wide. It is a mixed media piece, with charcoal acrylic and watercolor mediums.

To Write LOVE on her Arms

2008-01-04T20:12:00.000-08:00

Love is the movement...its universal..it heals. It should be the one thing that unites us all..no matter our situations...trials...illnesses, hidden secrets. Maybe the reason there is so much sickness and pain and in this world is because we don't take the initiative, time, to show each other the love we deserve. Its human nature. We all long to be loved, that is the way we were naturally made. God made us to physically NEED the love of our neighbor, or friends our family. But we don't act on this need as much as we should. These movements have been going around, these people who realized this need for love in their own lives and realized that they were probably not alone in their need...they sparked a trend, a revolution of LOVE. But its more than a movement....why don't we atomaticaly show each other love? We get so angry all the time, when someone looks at us the wrong way, or bumps us in line, or heaven forbid drives too slow on the highway. If someone looks too funny, we think we don't have to love them, or is "weird" we think we don't have to show them the same love we do our best friends...maybe they smell...so freakin what!!! Maybe they look weird because they have been doing hard drugs for years, because they never knew how to feel WHOLE...no one gave them the privaledge so they looked to something artificial to fill the void and they cant turn it around. Maybe there like this girl in this story, who battled so many things, ...who never felt worthy, who by the love of these people...finally saw her worth, saw the love of Christ, saw hope..and LOVE. It inspires me so so so much. Please watch this video, read Renee's story...its a beautiful inspiration.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=OHaFrS3TE04&feature=related

Renee's Story:

http://www.twloha.com/the_story.php

2007-12-16T21:43:00.001-08:00

<3 <3 <3

Oh HEART Oh HEART

2007-12-01T21:50:00.000-08:00

Oh heart Oh heart,

You are the true essence of this true beauty…
Living inside me, breathing yet weeping
for an escape.

I can manifest madness, sadness as well as undesirable flaws…but you are the only thing that allows me to see who I really am.
I have to say
IM SORRY…for all those times I’ve read you the wrong message or turned you away
Because inside YOU
My joy and my TRUE beauty are kept

PROTECTED…mending and restoring me into this person I was created
To be.

Your screaming has finally reached my ears…your twisting and turning, it has finally gotten to the core of me….suffer you will no longer do because

You Oh my beautiful HEART…you keep me alive, beating, breathing, smiling…
BEILIVING
That there really is a purpose to this life and
I really am beautiful, desirable, wonderful, precious…

I really am cherished for being this child I am and

I CAN NOT deny my own heart…you are the true essence of everything I am and you deserve to LIVE.

This is a SILENT night--spinning round....and round

2007-10-10T13:14:00.000-07:00

EMPTY...mocking...a twilight

fading with this awakening-

A madness-

SILENT DREAMING...

of a life holding onto

LOVE-

screaming-

a passion still fading away.

Beauty...bleeding-
a meaning too far for me to

BEILEVE- feeding-
something unreachable,
a desire not meetable

for my soul to thrive upon this-
alive within this-

DEMON-
possessed with a desire to win-
although-

winning is never an option,
because life is far forgotten,
in this carrousel lost in darkness,
round and round-not far from
DEATH-to love
DEATH-to life
DEATH-to freedom

YES--all freedom
DREAMING-

but never beileving....just empty.

Dear Old Lady~~Regional Winner-Live Poets Society

2007-10-10T13:12:00.000-07:00

She is but a towering oak, whispering, swaying in the moonlight's gentle breeze.

Secrets, they lie buried beneath her, entangled among splitting, encircling limbs.

A heart,breathlessly immersed beneath her core, beating as one...an essential being not exposed to the war of the elements. Though they threaten her, whisper a scarnful demise, unscathed…she remains. She remains. Carefully protected, hidden away among the warmth.

Deep, in solitude she stands, holding as a shelter for one, a strong hold for the next. In no weakness can she fall...even man tests too insubstantial to tear her to pieces…not yet, not now. Even then she shall sing in the wind. Swaying, standing fierce among the blazing light.

She is but a whispering willow, poise and finesse streaming from the glassy water surrounding her. Looking down upon beauty alone, she flies upon her knowledge. Treasured leaves fall with an unceasing courage. Courage of knowing, feeling, that their mother, a mighty one, continues to protect them with her might

She IS but a solid monumental giant, nothing but pure awe in spite of the evil knowing at her. She is this beautiful creature of life, ever standing, ever true. The heart of all wonder, the keeper of life, keeping every piece of this world pondering.

My Latest peices

2007-09-28T14:42:00.000-07:00

Un-defined.-Watercoler on raw canvas

This one is slightly strange. It represents the idea, that yes she is fractured, she is imperfect, but she is undefined. She isn't defined as a negative being, or a positive one at that. She is fractured, broken, but in the midst of it all she's standing out. She isn't in one generalized form, she's everywhere. She's undefined.

This is a grouping, of differn't flowers, in differnt mediums on Grass matt.

This is a start to my AP concentration of words. It is from Psalms 143:3.

2007-09-22T22:09:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had those moments, when you know that you need to fix something in your life, and you know that it is dragging you down tremendously, but you can't do anything about it. Like you feel like a part of your mind is working, but the other half is frozen still.
I can't convince myself that I need what I know with all my heart I need. I feel like my heart and my mind are two conflicting siblings fighting over and over. And I can't figure out how to end it.
I don't know what I need. I know I need the will of God in my life, and I need his spirit ruling my life, but sometimes it seems too simple for my mind to comprehend that "ok, i know I understand, I will obey". I can't do it and I feel like just screaming or giving up totally because how can I ever figure anything out when I feel like everyone I confide in fails me?? I feel like the ones I can trust, or the ones I thought I could trust don't really care, or maybe they care but they don't understand me and don't know how. And that is the main reason I don't like confiding in people, because people can't be like Jesus and see you the exact same way as they did before. They can't do it and they forever mark you as different or feel sorry and all that crap and I'm tired of it all. I hate everything that I'm buried in. I will be blunt. I don't care, I hate it, and I hate that people have to ignore me and act like everything is alright when I need them the most, when they are supposed to help me. But I feel no help, I am just as alone as when I started. Who in the world am I supposed to trust, besides God. But the thing is, I need to trust in God and I do, but he sends us to aid in the process also, so where is all the loving caring people in this picture, including only a few that are supposed to get the picture. I just cant figure it out and I feel like my brain needs a rest.

I want to be able to say "screw you I hate you I refuse, So what I dont care about you anymore...but I don't know how. I cant release it and it kills me so much, every day it kills me. Everyone else, they found a way to tell it off and let it go but this is holding on too tightly and I can't even breathe. I would kill to be able to look this in the face and say "you don't define me" but I don't even know how to, make myself want to try to, be able to get to where I can say it.

East to West

2007-08-25T20:44:00.000-07:00

Here I am Lord and I’m drowning, in Your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me, I yearn for peace and rest
I don’t want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind
Keeps me awake tonight
I know you’ve cast my sin as far as the East is from the West
And I stand before You now as though I’ve never sinned
But today I feel like I’m just one mistake away
From You leaving me this way

Jesus can you show me just how far the east is from the west
‘Cause I can’t bear to see the man I’ve been
Rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
‘Cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins

Endless reminding of my sin
And time and time again
Your truth is drowned out by the storm I’m in
Today I feel like I’m just one mistake away
from You leaving me this way

I know You’ve washed me white
Turn my darkness into life
I need Your peace to get me through
To get me through this night
I can’t live by what I feel
About the truth Your word reveals
I’m not holding on to You
But You’re holding on to me
You’re holding on to me

Not you average girl

2007-08-25T15:22:00.000-07:00

I'm a wildflower soaking up the sun. I'm a free bird soaring, a ray of shining light upon your face; a sunny day dreaming in radiant beams.

I'm not a simple-average girl. Not a come-n-get it, gotta run, skip the romance, fight the system, not your run of the mill sweet heart, No.

I'm an easy-breathing, dancing dreaming, spinning in the moonlight, soaking up the sun, basking in the crisp quite air starry headed girl. Yes, my soul is a pixie set free to roam, a damsel in a winding tunnel, not a thing in my way.

Just mesmerized by the beauty the world brings to my door step, not satisfied with skimming the surface of this picture. NO you better believe I'm gonna dive right in, dive into the mystery, the beauty that surrounds.

Beauty, yes its soaring around, everyone seems to think they have the answer to the riddle we call beautiful. I'm gonna catch it, the REAL thing, and no it was never plastic to begin with. I'm gonna catch it in the end, you better bet. I'm more than your average girl.

Cleaning out the closet

2007-08-12T19:35:00.000-07:00

Nothing can separate us from the Love that is in Christ. Nothing, and we have probably read that over and over again and again. We have been taught that his grace never ceases, and it is so true. But how much do we actually believe it? I mean do we live our lives knowing that he will never stop loving us? Or do we get so deep in our messy traps of sin and shame, so intertwined in the junk, that we just give up, run and hide from God. Do we run the other way, hiding our faces? Maybe because we think that we are too dirty for him to touch us, to make us clean again. Or could it be we think that he will be so angry at us that he will completely turn us away? And why do we even worry about these scenarios? Because he tells us flat out, in Hebrews 13:5 "I will never leave or forsake you." What about Psalms 103:11-13 11

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him";

We have to create a place for him, if we expect him to live inside our hearts. We think that we should be able to hold onto all the "junk", and have him too. But how can we have him living in our hearts, if it is already filled with all these other things. Things we worry about, our fears, school, our jobs, relationships, struggles. Maybe they are things we refuse to let go of, maybe they are things that wont let go of us, or maybe we don't even realize its getting in the way of our relationship with God. We have so much clutter, NOISE, that just fills our lives and do we even stop to think of him enough? DO we give him the time that he deserves, are we putting him first? It says, in Mathew 6, that if we would just trust him enough, to put him first, all these other things will be "added unto you" they will be taken care of, he will put them into perspective for us. If we put him first in our lives, make a space in our hearts, and it cant just be a little spot, he has to be the main focus! Then he will take care of us, iron out all our wrinkles, untie all of our stubborn knots. Our lives can be made whole in him. He has the power to do great things in us, to work through us like we cant even imagine!

We don't have to hide from him, he sees our sin, he sees everything we hide in the dark. He knows it, why do we even try to hide? He sees us anyway. Psalm 139 even says that he knows our thoughts before they even come out of our mouths. He knows every tiny piece of us, the good, and the horrible. But the amazingly comforting thing is, although he sees all of this, he doesn't stop loving us for it. He doesn't stop lifting us up. He stands firm at our side because his love for us is so great, it reaches as FAR as the EAST is from the WEST!! WOW And it may be hard to grasp but it is so true.

He is our Father! He is our friend, our 'Raya' as it is translated in Hebrew. He is our companion and our Father forever, he will never leave us, w don't have to hide!! Whatever is holding you back from a burning on fire relationship with God, get it out!! Please get it out, or let God get it out for you! He wants our all, not a piece, he wants our total beings and he doesn't want to share us with anything else that shouldn't be there. Let him be the master of your life, the rock you stand on, he will make you mighty! He will do great things in you. God Bless!

Kayleigh

Phenomenal Woman~~Maya Angelou

2007-07-30T08:12:00.000-07:00

PHENOMENAL WOMAN
by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

We are ALL phenomenal women...nothing less. Embrace it, congratulate it, dont hide it, dont fight it, respect it, protect it, we are beautiful. :)

A healing for all

2007-07-29T20:43:00.000-07:00

Life, a mystery in itself. So many things in life are unexplainable, unchangeable and certainly unreasonable to the ways we want them to turn out. In life, comes sickness, in life comes burden...hardening hearts and weakening souls. But in life, among burdens, there has to be healing. There has to be a changing, hopeful presence that intercedes for all the bad that is being concentrated on. The burden, the sickness, can not be called by name, given respect, no...the soul that is being burdened on the other hand needs all the love that is available.

Healing, a kind of wellness that so many need. How is it possible? How do we get there? Maybe, just maybe, we can create this kind of wellness, through the healing of others. Can we receive our own healing for our own souls, through the healing of the one that we are trying to save, change? We could start a chain reaction, a wellness that spreads so fast we don't know how it came about. A kind of hope, that builds upon the laughter of children, the smiles of the old, the kind words of a stranger. A kind of happiness that is made through the loving selfless acts of your neighbor, fighting for your own healing as you in turn fight for his. What a beautiful world this could be! What a terrific place we could make of the air around us, filling it with joy, with peace, a presence of hope.

Life can drag us down if we ask it to, if we give in to the evil that presents itself on our door step each morning. Or, in turn we can act...speak, love, LIVE for a purpose. Humanity needs a reason to live, what if this reason starts right here; at the tips our fingers, the voice out of our mouths, the speed of our step. We have the power to move, to build, to create a changing environment that will remain forever. An imprint, a healing that touches every heart. We just have to decide to make it there.

SPEAK

2007-07-29T05:55:00.000-07:00

SPEAK, out to the sudden disaster you are facing. There can be only way to silence the enemy. SPEAK, not a whisper but a SCREAM of sudden passion against every weakness. Your tounge cannot grow entangled any longer, your voice...it has to fight. Just listen to the wind..guiding you, if you wont it will.

SPEAK...into the night if the light is blinding your eyes; speak to the only voice that cares. Shudder a cry of defeat, a wave of victory, a sign of reality in your voice...that you can endure the quaking in your gut that is killing you. Just speak it away, speak it out of your soul. Throw it onto the cold harsh ground it came from. Cast from this hiding grave in your heart...the despicable distaste that drives you to harm.

SPEAK, for the ones that have already been silenced. SPEAK, for the souls that have a voice no more. One voice, two...10,000. We can indeed fight this battle. Just speak.

Hearts giving HOPE!

2007-07-27T20:25:00.000-07:00

Hearts giving hope. Hope for a renewed perception, a reality beyond our reach but not totally undetected. Hope...a well-spring, a new and perfect happiness. Hearts giving out their vision of a united healing, hands joined in a united decision to live. Living life! Not a life of self-pity or denial, not a life of tears, or pain in every mirror encircling us. No. Real life, living for a purpose. A DREAM, of something created for peace. Newness. Wellness. Perfection thrown out the window. Deceiving images torn in fiery hatred of what they have made so many of us to believe already...but not in this present time.

Hearts are giving hope, giving a reason to believe and a chance to fight until it truly fades into the darkness. Burying it self no longer, completely out and trampled upon into the night. No love shown to the darkness, only the light.

Only hope, only love, only hearts healing the souls that have been crucified, terrified, diseased by its hatred, by its whispers and deceiving lies. Not another threat, not another silence undetected, not another rush of blood that could of been kept warm. Hearts are giving hope, after so long. Hear's to a new life, a new peace, love eternally lasting forever.

SCALES are for fish(a folow up to the beauty post)

2007-07-25T19:16:00.000-07:00

I've seriously felt like doing this a couple times. :) After teh last post I thought it necessary to put this on here. It's funny, but it is seriously true. Scales are for fish, not humans. I refuse to let a peice of scrap metal tell me whether I should love or hate myself everyday. I think the world should have a national scale-smashing day. That would be amazing, saying GOODBYE to the un-realistic standards of beauty in America, the super-thin models that drive girls to hate themselves, the un-necessary diet EVERYTHING. It is seriously getting out of hand and un called for. America needs an awakening, and intervention. Anyone want to smash their scales with me? :) SCALES ARE FOR FISH!!!!! :)

Have a fun day, be yourself and no on else, live for GOd not the world,

Kayleigh

What is Beauty?

2007-07-25T16:07:00.000-07:00

What is beauty? Where should we find our definition of how to look, what to wear, what size we should be? There are so many definitions, it can get so confusing and so hurtful when you can't seem to measure up to any of them.

This article is amazing, I found it while browsing the Brio Mag site. I just had to post it on here because it is so true! The way our culture is telling us what to do to be "beautiful", it is crazy! Paint and cake your face? Slice and dice your body? Burn your skin to a crisp? Starve yourself? What? What in the world happened to the beauty of a true daughter of the Lord. The beauty of a quiet ad gentle spirit. The amazing style of a girl set in her faith, following the king, running with her head on straight, not being twisted and conformed into the worlds standards. The beauty of a maiden of Christ. Sounds so majestic...maiden. We are maidens and that is what God intended for us to be. I think he cries, when he sees his daughters struggling to become beautiful in a world that will never let them rest, will always keep raising the standards. His standard is set, he will never change with the seasons. That is amazing!!

Here is the link, please, please read it. :) It is so worth your time.

http://www.briomag.com/briomagazine/briobeyond/a0007261.html

2007-07-24T19:10:00.000-07:00

I love this song, and it reminds me that we have to be desperate for him, to let him into our lives and follow him without a doubt in our hearts. Every breath in me, I should be giving to him. How can I do that if I can't trust? This is something that I really struggle with, this is so much talking to myself more than anyone. I have such a hard time realizing that he is the one who made me and I need to learn how to open my heart and let him in.

I HAVE TO let him break me to pieces, mold me into what he wants of me. To shadder me into a million pieces, not gently because I need more than that to really become his...I've had my easy way out, and it has already come and gone. I NEED him to tear me to pieces and really conform me to him. Just some further thoughts. Hope you enjoy. :)

Family Force Five-Replace Me

"This heart it wants to beat
These Lungs they want to breathe
These eyes they want to see
Gotta Mouth that wants to sing

Desperation
Needing You
Every last breath
I scream for You
Shatter me into a million pieces...Make me new

Crush me, tear me, break me, mold me
Make me what You want me to be
I am Yours for You to use
so, Take and Replace me with You

Needing more than just a jump start to get me through
My disconnection is now the issue.....

Desperation
Needing You
Every last breath
I scream...

Desperation
Needing You
Every last breath
I scream for You
Shatter me into a million pieces...Make me new

Crush me, tear me, break me, mold me
Make me what You want me to be
I am Yours for You to use
so, Take and Replace me with You

I need so bad, to have my whole self "replaced" by Christ. Everything I am centered on is wrong, I need him and everything I have I want to scream out to him. I want to cry out to him with all I have. I am truly desperate for his spirit to dwell in me.

Desperate, its such an awesome word. The Israelites were "desperate" for God, when the Midianites were destroying them, in their desperation, it says they cried out to God with all they had because they couldn't do it alone.

We can't do it alone, he is out only hope. This is the most important thing to start with. We HAVE to give our control up to God, give it ALL to God. It is so hard, I know we all struggle with GIVING it up to God. Why does it have to be so Hard?

He says he will NEVER forsake us, leave us. He loves us so much and we should have every reason to trust him.

Hebrews 13:5--"Never will I leave you, NEVER will I forsake you."
He tells us not to let our hearts be troubled with things of the World, because he is the only way, and he has prepared a way for us. (John 14) He is the ONLY way, the truth, the real reason we are living today, without him we are nothing. He created this world, he knows our hearts but still we cannot trust him. He says he has "searched our hearts". (Psalm 139) Not only does he know us, he has searched us deeply, he knows when we sit and rise...he knows every tiny thought that we can think. It is amazing how much he knows us, how deeply he cares to spend that much time getting to know our hearts, and so why can't we trust him?

PROVERBS 3:5 (one of my favorite verses)

TRUST in the LORD with ALL your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in ALL your ways acknowledge him and HE WILL make your paths straight."

We can not lean on our own perception of things. He has the big picture of our lives, we may be able to see within a couple years, maybe not even that far, but he can see our whole lives before his eyes. We forget how much he loves us, and that he would NEVER let us fall. It shouldn't be that scary when we think of it in that way.

We have to unlock our hearts, from the inside out, and let him in!! He can not help us if we don't let him in. He knows our weaknesses, he knows our strengths, he wants to remove ALL doubt from our hearts. We may not understand why he wants us to give up a certain thing, or how something is going to work out, but If we would only trust that he knows best and take his hand, then maybe we could really find peace. Because we spend so much time worrying, and carrying all these burdens, that he wants so desperately to take from us.

GALATIANS 5:1
"1It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

We are not slaves to sin, to burdens, to pain. Nothing can hold us captive now without our own permission, and the enemy has no authority over us once we decide we are ready to get out. Christ has set us free from these things through his blood when he cancelled out the old laws with his sacrifice. Sure we will experience pain, and suffering, but he has told us:

JAMES 1:2-4
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Anyway, we have to learn how to trust God. He loves us so so much and it is impossible for our lives to be changed entirely, of him to mold us, to break our hearts and conform us if we can't give him the key to our hearts first. Every victory starts with the Lord, and nothing can be done without him in our lives. Simple as that. We NEED him! We have to have him inside our hearts. <3

PSALM 18:28-36
28 You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning;
my God turns my darkness into light.
29 With your help I can advance against a troop [a] ;
with my God I can scale a wall.
30 As for God, his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD is flawless.
He is a shield
for all who take refuge in him.
31 For who is God besides the LORD ?
And who is the Rock except our God?
32 It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.
33 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
he enables me to stand on the heights.
34 He trains my hands for battle;
my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
35 You give me your shield of victory,
and your right hand sustains me;
you stoop down to make me great.
36 You broaden the path beneath me,
so that my ankles do not turn.

In Christ,

Kayleigh :)

P.S. By the way, I would LOVE to get feed back on this, it would be awesome if I could start a discussion on this. It is good to talk about things, to disagree, to agree...etc. Feel free to correct me, to comment, anything. :) thanks

Encouraging verses and thoughts

2007-07-22T19:12:00.000-07:00

Just some great thoughts, some good verses, great reminders and encouraging things to study. I have enjoyed reading these verses and really just kinda wanted to write about them, or just put them on here so others could be reminded also.

"Therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12

God's gifts are irrevocable, it says in Romans 11. His mercy is filling us each day. We are called to be living sacrifices, as he puts it in the verse above. We are called to be lights to the world, in a world of darkness and evil, to run the race given us with complete certainty that he is our God and that we are his children. His will is perfect, and without his will we are broken and hopeless. There are allot of things in this world that can not be explained, and are very hard to understand. But one thing I hold on to and constantly remember is that God has a perfect will, he created everything and he has the power to work out everything for good, no matter how horrid it seems at the time. I have personally seen this in my own life. He has taken every thing, and has worked into my life to become something for the better. We are like clay being molded in his hands. He is molding us, taking the things that come into our lives, and molding them into a stronger, taller, solid pot that cannot be easily torn down. We start as a lump of clay, something that can be easily smashed, not able to stand on its own, but if we let him work in us we can end up a beautiful strong, piece of art that is able to stand strong in his hands. And that is a wonderful thought, wonderful hope.

" Therefore brothers, since we have confidence to enter the most holy place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened up for us through his body. and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for he who promised is FAITHFUL!"

He is so so faithful! There has never been a time that he has left me, everytime I have fallen and been so down, there has been something that happened to bring me right back up again. There's always opportunities that he brings me, it is just a matter of will I take them? We have a "new and living way" it is so full of joy and hope and peace, we just have to draw near to him. We have to make an effort to take the opportunities, focus our hearts on him, and draw close to him in a relationship that can not be broken. That is one thing that can't be taken away, our relationship with Christ. and that leads me to the next verse.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38

Nothing can separate us. He is in our hearts for good, he is there to stay and nothing Satan throws at us, nothing the world puts at out feet, nothing anyone can say or do can separate us from his love. Jesus commands my destiny and yours. And that is an amazing thought, an amazing promise. <3

(the whole chapter of Romans 8 I LOVE by the way, I greatly encourage you to read it, and if you already have, read it again, and again and again.) :)

"If God is for us, who could be against us?" Romans 8: 31 amen!!

Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

The love of God should be overflowing out of us. His joy radiating out of our very spirits. That is the light people can truly see, the visible character of a disciple of Christ.

1 Peter 2:4 " As you come to him, the LIVING STONE, rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him, you also like living stones, are being built into a spiritual priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ."

This made me think of how much we need each other. Christ is the living stone, he is the capstone, the foundation, the one that holds everything together. We are also called to be living stones. We are connected to him, a family of Christ and if we are all called to be living stones then we are all connected. This made me think of a brick wall. All the bricks are interwoven together, without one brick, the other would fall and shadder. This is a metaphor of how much we need each other in the body of Christ. We need to learn to rely on each other in both good and bad times. Because without the accountability of the other, one may fall and stumble. We are supposed to be a loving family of believers, and I truly believe if we could be open up to each other, praying and confessing on a regular basis as we are directed to, the church could be such a powerful place. Because even though we seem so friendly and happy on the outside, we are still broken...there is pain in the church that no one can see, because we are too afraid to open up and support each other. We need to crush our stained glass masquerade and start seeing the real thing.

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens,[a] Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. 16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:14-16

He was tempted in every way imaginable, never failing, never giving in. He is our high priest, our capstone, our living salvation. He is able to do so much more than we can ever imagine in our lives. If we would just allow him to be put in the driver's seat of our lives, and allow him control then maybe we could find the mercy and peace that we are longing for. If we trust him, approach the throne with confidence, he can help us. He will never turn us down. He wants a relationship with us and is waiting for us to approach him and accept him. He loves us and cares for us more than we could ever imagine, we can not fathom the love that Christ has for us.

I long for a relationship with him, I pray for the strength and will to let go of myself, to trust him, put everything behind me, put Satan beind me and allow him to work in me. I have a hard time giving up my control. It is so hard to say"OK, you know best, why don't you take control know and I will take the back seat." I get so frustrated that I can't get better at what I need to get better at, when I know that I can't even give up my stubbornness to trust him. I have to give it up to God, because that is the only way my life will truly be complete. I love him, and without him I am nothing. I am working daily on reminding myself that he loves me and will do everything in his power to get me on the right track. And I just pray that I can give it up to him. It is so hard, and I can't even understand why it has to be so hard. I guess it is Satan telling me that I can't afford to give it up. And yes that is exactly what it is, but even with knowing that I still can't find myself really submitting my power, not fully.

I have no idea who will be reading this post, but if you have gotten this far then you must care enough that I can ask for your prayers. Please pray for me, pray that I can give my life fully ot Christ and submit my control. Because nothing can be done, can get better unless I can fully do that.

God bless you!! :)

Kayleigh

Mission Trip 2007

2007-07-16T12:28:00.000-07:00

This past week, I was greatly blessed with the opportunity to go on a senior high mission trip with my church. We went to Picayune, Mississippi and helped out with an origination called "Walls of Hope" building houses for Katrina victims.

Not only was this trip a great blessing spiritually, it really helped me to see how blessed I am. I have an amazing youth group, church, friends, everything. I am blessed with a God who is omnipresent, grace that will never fade and a relationship with Jesus that cancels out everything else that I could ever care about. This trip really helped me see and understand that I really can become a disciple of Christ, and by disciple I don't mean just a follower, or someone that goes to church. I mean a living breathing example of the love that is in God and the grace that follows.

People don't need our money (although yes I am sure in some way it helps), or our church services. They need our time, our love and care. It is so great, to be able to go somewhere that is out of your way, and help these people who have lost everything, people whose only entertainment is to sit in the humid weather and watch a bunch of kids build a house, and learn from them. I can't say that I would be able to be so chipper, so trusting and understanding if everything I ever loved was gone, and to be able to say to someone that God has blessed me and always has. Because that is exactly what the owner of our house said to me. I told him "God bless you", and he responded with "he always does...he always will." And you could see in his face that he wasn't putting up a front in anyway. He was a child of God.

We can show we are Christians by our love. We are meant to show are faith by our love, by our example and our actions. I don't think we become focused enough most of the time to remember this. We need to remind ourselves that we have an influence, we have the power to keep each other accountable, reliable. We have to be vocal about our faith, we have to go to people. We can't expect them to come to us, to strike up a conversation, and we can't go to them and practically force a bible into their hands.

We have to show them love, caring. I really think this is the key. It all comes back to being a disciple of Christ. We have to have a relationship with God to be a disciple, and before we can lead anyone else to being a disciple, we have to be one our selves. We have to have that love of Christ embedded deep in our hearts. The kind that overflows onto others when we walk into a room. The kind of light that people see from miles away. We have to be on fire for him.

Romans 12:1-3

THEREFORE, I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living scarifies, HOLY and PLEASING to God- this is your spiritual act of worship. DO NOT conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be TRANSFORMED by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve of what God's will is-- his good, pleasing and PERFECT will."

"Disciple" = "living sacrifice"

When we devote our selves to becoming a living sacrifice to God, or a disciple of God, and we set our hearts on him...then our minds are renewed and we have the love and the light of Christ inside us that is greatly noticeable.

I pray that everyday I can strive to become a disciple of God that is unmistakable to others. I want so badly to be on fire for him, every single day. And yes I do think that is possible. Sure we all need encouragement, reminding. But it is also absolutely true that EVERYTHING is possible in Christ, there is no where that says I can't be on fire for him 24/7. I want this.

God bless you and hope you can respond with "He always has...and always will." :)

Kayleigh

P.S. I added some pics of the trip below. I hope this was an encouragement, it certainly was to me.

1 Corinthians 2:9
Romans 8:11
Romans 15:13
Romans 14:7-8

This is our whole youth group on the last day.

This is Andy, Haylynn, and I in front of the house we were building.

We went and prayed at the Levie protecting the lower 9th Ward.

Holding the walls in place so they could be nailed in and supported.

The inside after we got the outside walls up, with the interior walls in a big pile.

I beileve this is after the jigsaw puzzle was finally solved. :)

Andy and Josea...:) he was one of our group leaders, the one that didn't speak much english but he was awesome. :)

LOVE!!

A much enjoyed break.

Our whole group on the last day after we were flooded with rain. (this was only a 5th of the people, we had 5 groups on differn't sites.)

What an amazingly true statement.

Chair and music still life

2007-06-02T18:07:00.000-07:00

Over the summer, I am going to work on a series of still lifes from observation that will be an introduction to my A.P. portfolio. Observation is a key to art that I have yet to focus much on, because I haven't given it much thought, but I have been constantly nagged, by my art teacher and other people, to start doing this more often. Colleges look for this, but I think I like it better than what I have been doing actually. :) I am hoping that my future still lifes will be better looking than this one, but this is the first so I decided to put it on here anyway. I like it, I love the colors and the music, I haven't gotten to do much with music in my art yet. I love music, so hopefully I will have the chance to entertwine a bit of music into future works. Enjoy :)

Revived in Christ, with faith, with perserance.

2007-05-07T14:26:00.000-07:00

I have been reading the new testament lately, and documenting what I find. Today I decided I would re-read through Acts. I thought I would share this.

Acts 3 and 4- It tells of Peter and John, when they heal the crippled beggar outside the temple gate. The priests and the Sadducees arrested them because they were too afraid that people would come to know Christ, so they resulted to persecuting Peter and John. Even though they were imprisoned, it says "but many who heard the message believed, and their number grew to about 5,000." They could not stop the will of God.
They put them in prison thinking that if they put them away the spreading of the gospel would stop. It says that they couldn't deny that what Peter and John were saying was the truth, so they tried to silence them. But the two refused to keep quiet. They only replied to them, "Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey you rather than God. For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard." Basically, told them do you really think we could be that stupid? Listen to earthly men over the God of the Universe? But sadly people do it everyday.
The apostles in the bible, prayed about everything. So did Jesus, they devoted hours, even whole nights to prayer. I don't think we pray as often as we should, I don't think we trust God as much as we should. Peter and John had so much faith, though they were threatened and persecuted, they kept their faith strong lifting their voices up to God in prayer and worship.

While in prison, Peter, filled with the spirit, said to the rulers and elders,

Acts 4: 10a-12 "It is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified but whom God raised from the dead, that this man stands before you healed. He is the stone your builders rejected, which has become the capstone. Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved."

It says Jesus was rejected. It is funny how everyone sees him as one who was holy and miraculously above everyone, although he was indeed holy, he put him self at the lowest point so he could know us and save us.

Jesus calls the rejected, constantly in the Gospels and altrough out the NT, he reaches out his hand to those who we would never think to give the time of day. Saul for instance, God transformed him from this evil god-hating murderer, into a devoted follower of Christ. The apostles, were "rejects" of the law.
In Jewish customs, boys were to have the whole old testament memorized by the age of 15, when they were to seek a Rabbi to instruct them and guide them further in their study. But they were fisherman, so clearly they had been rejected. But Jesus sought them out to follow him, and immediately they followed, no questions asked. He dined with sinners and tax collectors, gave time to the most "unclean" people, healing their sins. (Luke 8: 43-48)

He is calling us. He knows our hearts, knows we have messed up and continue to mess up. We have been rejected. Rejected by the world, by our friends who think we are strange to want to follow and "give in" to the christian beliefs. But he has not rejected us, and never will. He knows what it feels like to be rejected. He went through the ultimate rejection, humiliation. He was spat on, beaten, laughed at, cursed, misunderstood to the extreme.

It is such a comfort for me personally to know that my saviour is a saviour of love and forgiveness. One who has been there, and is not just telling me to follow something without a cause. In nothing else can I get eternal salvation, hope, joy, love, peace. In nothing else can I find such life and an everlasting, unwavering foundation.

"Since we have confidence to enter the most holy place by the blood of Jesus...let us draw near to God with a full assurance of faith, having our bodies sprinkled to clean our guilty conscience, let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10: 19-23

" Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set out before him endured the cross, scorning it's shame, and sat down at the right hand of God." Hebrews 12: 1-2

People like Peter and John, encourage me so much. I see what they went through, and the situations they faced daily. I see the faith they had in God, that he would show them what to say and how. It makes me feel so guilty of the excuses I make about not sharing Jesus with those around me more than I do. In today's world, I probably will get laughed at, its a good chance, but I doubt I will get flogged and definitely not thrown in jail. It's sad that I can't share with people because I'm afraid of getting laughed at. I'm sure Jesus got laughed at a lot, probably about everyday. But it didn't stop him, or his followers from sharing the Gospel.

He commands me to share my faith, he doesn't ask or beg. I shouldn't feel I have to make excuses to get out of it. I pray to God that I can learn how to share more easily to those around me, even though I may be persecuted for it. I want to take up my cross for him. My only hope is in God, and I want to embrace him with all I have.

Old art that I found

2007-05-01T15:35:00.000-07:00

I did most of this stuff in the 8th and 9th grade, some is good, some a little strange. :) and I know they are side-ways, but it would take allot of work to get them straight, so I will do that later....sorry! :)

Is he good or what?

2007-04-23T18:14:00.000-07:00

OK, so in the past few weeks, God has shown me so much....more like slapped me right in the face and told me I am not as invincible as I think I am. I am so amazed, and completely confused...I can't even begin to explain. I know now, more than ever, that Satan is real, and he is surrounding my every move just waiting for me to give him a foothold into my life. But I am so glad that God is right there to lift me out and wake me up. It's like he is sending me all these things, waving his arms telling me to hold on...back up. Every time I fall, every single time he is always there to lift me up, to pick me back up again. He has done it again. Is he good or what??

At one time, I heard faith explained a very neat way. He said, faith is like a dam, holding back tons of water. Every mistake we make, every wrong move and every temptation we fall into creates a crack in our dam, or our faith. The more we give in to temptation, the more the water seeps into our lives, and without the grace of God to intervene, we can be completely flooded with sin, up to our heads wondering how we will ever get out.

I know now that my faith is not as solid as I thought it was, and it could definitely be strengthened more. There are definate holes that could be mended. I am just so glad that he knows my every move, so he can mold me more and more in his image. Because he knows that "good" isn't good enough. And I just pray that certain people in my life can come to understand that.

~kayleigh

Self portrait-Abstract

2007-04-20T04:56:00.000-07:00

This is another latest addition. It's color pencil, abstract blocked up into color and no color. I don't have a name for it yet, and I didn't excpect it to look so evil but thats just how it turned out. haha :)

Most recent art~~~The Red Lady

2007-04-16T15:41:00.000-07:00

So here is the most recent addition to the collection. I don't have an official title for it yet, I want something better and more creative than the red lady..:) Any suggestions? I will take them gladly. :) My grandpa says it looks like "the devil woman" but I think I will stray away from that name..:)

P.S. I will update the picture of it matted when I get the chance, there were a few touch-ups made, and the newest pictures will look better. :)

How well do we really KNOW our Jesus?

2007-03-04T13:08:00.000-08:00

All through our lives we hear about Jesus. He died for us, he was the ultimate sacrifice, he was perfect and loved everyone regardless. We see him as an image, as a poster on the wall with a bright and shiny glow around him. A beard and white robe smiling down on us. We see him all around us, but how much do we really know him personally? With this image, we often feel distant. We long for a relationship with him but sometimes we feel so confused on how we are supposed to reach through that shiny glow and actually find "Jesus", pure and simple.
In this thought I have a few questions for you. Who was he really? Who was this man/God who came down and died the most humiliating death. Was he 100% human? Was he 100% deity, or was he more 50/50. Or how about this one, did Jesus really know he was the son of God all his life, even from the time of birth. Was he completely unable to Sin, or did he have such amazing perfect self control that he resisted every temptation.

Your attitude concerning Jesus effects everything. Our relationship with him is centered on how we really view him. Can we really relate to him, or was he just a human "look alike".

In the first chapter of Mark, Jesus comes down from Galilee to be baptized by John the baptist. As soon as Jesus was baptized, the scripture says "he saw Heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove." A voice comes from heaven and it says " You are my son with whom I am well pleased." Did he first know of his purpose here, or did always have a idea.

These questions are so important for us to know if we truly want to understand and develop a relationship with him. Jesus is our ultimate savior, he died for us , he shed his blood but there are other things behind all of it, that show us how devoted he was to understanding us fully. It says in scripture that he didn't see equality with God something to be grasped. He went to the ultimate low for us, leaving all power behind. He made him self so vulnerable, coming into this world in the form of an infant. He put himself so low, so it would be fully possible to clear the greatest sins..lower than the grimiest criminals...he went there. He was spit on, abused, mocked, denied, he went through everything, somethings we will never go through. He died on a cross..about the most humiliating death possible. All so he can say he's been there, and he has earned the name above all, so he can argue our faults for us. He is arguing our case for us when we mess up...he knows.

There are somethings I long to know the answer to..like did he ever get the urge to lust, or could he sin. If he was a teenage boy, what things did he go through? I do know that he withstood every temptation, never sinned once. Sometimes I think why can't we do that? We have all the resources that he had, sure we can not be perfect. We are always going to mess up, but if we strive for him every day, imagine how close we can get to him? Nothing is impossible with God. Jesus always urged his disciples to have faith...over and over they doubted and he asked them why do you have to ask, don't you know? Why do you have to doubt? If we had the faith to see our selves being like Jesus, we could do it. I believe he can give us the strength.

I will write more on this later, there is so much to contemplate!! He is amazing, i urge you to let him show you who he is. Try to fast for a few hours, he will really amaze you.

God bless!!

Kayleigh

THEA workshop

2007-02-24T20:54:00.000-08:00

So today, I got the privilege to attend an all day workshop of art. I went to a THEA workshop, for winning 1st in the junior division. I was so blessed to be able to go to it, it inspired me so much. It even go time thinking on some things about m future. Ive always said that i want to be an art therapist. Even though I love the idea of doing that, I really don't know after today. There was a guy that talked to us, he was talking about how he didn't have a very supportive family, and all his brothers went to med school, so he got scarred into a more mainstream side of art, which happened to be commercial art. He said he felt like "an animal in a cage" because he was so confined to this cubicle and desk and a time clock. He had to limit his expression and imagination to the things people wanted him to do and make, until he decided he had to make something else of himself, he couldn't be confined any longer. So he said he got out and started busing tables, then found an art studio where he started painting. He eventually found a job at a local art school. He talked about how before he used little bitty movements with his wrists, it was all tiny details right in front of him, but the paintings he could do now he felt free, he moved in full movements, used all of his brain. No limits. He was free. Now he is doing giant sculptures for hospitals, he actually sculpted "The Nine" in front of Central High. His work is amazing! All because he had the guts to step out and do it..follow what he loved no matter who objected. The studio we were in just felt "it"..like I was home there, like I could see my self coming there every day and working. I don't want to be confined. I want to wear those long flowy skirts, sandals and walk in and say "lets do some serious art today, or lets create something magnificent!" I don't want to be confined to my "limited" imagination.I don't see my self in a business suit, I wnat to be vintage, stylish, and "artsy" haha..Like one of the instructors said, "we are Right brained people, and we are different from everyone else." I want to show that, not hide it. The arts are beautiful, and it's everything to me. I don't know if I can see my self sitting in a room and saying "how do you feel about that" I just can't see it. I don't want to be a starving artist either..so I just don't know. But everything isn't about money..God will provide.

But I can't wait until I get to go to a studio like that and dig in! Just dig into painting and sculpting with plaster and clay and metal...giant acrylic paintings...I can't wait!! I want to get my hands dirty..I'm sick of using little details...tiny movements...I'm ready for the extreme!

Kayleigh

~In Christ Alone~

2007-02-23T06:11:00.000-08:00

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt of life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

-Newsboys

THis is such a powerful song, it is one of my favorites. It really shows the majesty of our Lord. It reminds me that no matter what happens, he will be by my side, he will love me,never leave me, and nothing can ever take that from me. It is so beautiful! :)

<3~<3

2007-02-11T11:42:00.000-08:00

Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak
--mercy me

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus
--third day

I know you're always there
To my every prayer inside
I'm clinging to the promise of a lifetime
I hear the words you say
To never walk away from me and leave behind
The promise of a lifetime
--kutless

In only moment truth
Was seen revealed this mystery
The crown that showed no dignity he wore
And the king was placed for all the world
To show disgrace but only beauty flowed from his face
Would you take the place of this man
Would you take the nails from his hands
Would you take the place of this man
Would you take the nails from his hands
--jeremy camp

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
--casting crowns

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel you by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone
--barlowgirl

God of wonders
Beyond our galaxy
You are holy, holy
The universe
Declares your majesty
You are holy, holy
--caedmons call

You made it all
Said, "let there be"
And there was
All that we see
The sound of Your voice
The works of Your hands
You do all things well
You do all things well
You do all things well
--chris tomlin

<3

2007-02-11T11:25:00.000-08:00

Is it REAL is it TRUE
What I hear about you
That you love me , love me
That's what everybody's saying
Can it be that you see
Something beautiful in me
Well it sounds too good to be true
What I hear about you

Recent Art

2007-02-04T11:59:00.000-08:00

Food Production: Is there a danger in the foods we Eat?

2007-02-04T11:21:00.000-08:00

Many people don’t realize the amount of, or the danger of, food additives that are put into the substances we consume daily. The food industry has made a fortune, by producing foods that last longer, and look better, at the cost of our health. The food manufacturers have found ways to allow potentially unhealthy substances into our foods for the very reason of making a profit. By exploring the different views of the effects from these substances, the question of whether the use of food additives should be acceptable is answered.
Food additives have been used for centuries. There have been reports of food additive uses dating as far back as pre-historic man. Research has shown evidence of chemicals used in meats, and later adding salt to fish to preserve it longer. This doesn’t mean they were healthier back then, though. In fact the additives they used were more harmful that some today. The Romans, for example, used lead acetate as an artificial sweetener, while in the 19th century, chalk was commonly found in milk for color. Pesticides were introduced in America during the WWII Era, allowing the food producers to bring in remarkable gains, which still is true for today.
Today food manufacturers use about 2,800 natural and artificial additives in our foods. (Rowlands 16) This includes preservatives, and processing aids. They are used to sweeten, freshen, flavor, and so on. Although the effects are clear, ideas about food additives vary in many ways. There are the pros, and then there are the obvious cons. There are many positive reasons why food companies repeatedly choose to add the many substances that go into our foods. The most obvious reason is, that with the use of food additives, there is an increased shelf life of the food, allowing the company to sell more of the product while reaping more of a profit. Spoilage is less of an issue when food additives are used, because the amount of bacteria, mold and fungi are controlled. Without these food additives, the product will go bad before it even hits the shelf. For the same reason, stabilizers and preservatives allow for companies to ship our foods all over the world. The use of food additives help to increase the availability, safety, and quality of the foods we eat, and at the same time they help to keep the cost affordable. Additives help to provide the lacking nutrients in foods, therefore improving and maintaining its quality while keeping the flavors and aromas fresh. (“Chemicals and Foods” 1)
Another side of the positive effects that food additives bring us is more appearance conscious. For example, additives are used to increase the color of the foods, therefore creating a desire to be bought. They are used to provide consistency and body, allowing a more pleasing effect when eaten. (“Chemicals and Foods” 1)
A main concern of food additives today is the question of illness related to food additives. Even though there have been distinct relations to illness, there also have been different cases. For example, pasteurization has been a constant benefit of food additives. It has been shown to greatly reduce the risk of tuberculosis related with drinking milk. Research has also shown that less than one percent of cancers have been caused by the use of food additives. (Fountain 34)
Clearly there are considerable amounts of excuses for the use of additives, but there are many negative consequences that should be realized. Food additives have been linked with many illnesses, which have failed to come to the public eye. There have been direct links to various physical and mental disorders, as well as hyperactivity in children. A recent discovery has linked the effects of these additives to the womb. (“The Adverse Efects of Food additives on Health” 12) Just as tobacco or alcohol uses can have horrid effects on a pre-mature fetus, they have now found that additives also can have these same effects. This can lead to tumor development in the fetus, if not worse. Even “natural” additives can have the same side-effects. Some of these additives, such as the vitamin C, or other wise known as “ascorbic acid” that is often found in an orange, is actually identical to that which is produced in a lab. There are endless concerns about food additives, another being the concern of loss of nutrients in the food, which can even result in malnutrition.
There are many types of food additives that end up in the food we eat. They all vary in the process or the reason for it being added, but do they have equal effects? A major Additive that is used every day is the chemical. Chemicals are widely used, for the purpose of preserving and protecting the foods from bacteria and fungi. Nitrates are used to protect the foods from spoilage, extending the shelf life, and keeping the food looking fresh. As this sounds useful, there is another side to this “necessary” chemical. Nitrates react with certain amines, with this reaction, the food is preserved. If the chemicals that they produced are consumed in high amounts, it could cause cancer. This doesn’t seem very acceptable, as most foods contain nitrates. (Rowlands 16)
Chemicals can have a major effect on our health in general. Even the containers that foods are stored in contain chemicals that can leak into our foods and become carcinogenic. “Man-made industrial chemicals and pesticides may tamper with the molecules in the body’s regulatory system, possibly causing birth defects, low sperm counts, breast cancer, mental impairment, and several other ailments.” (Cushman A14) Even the simplest sweeteners are very dangerous. For example, “saccharin” which is widely used as a sweetener, has been proven to cause cancer, and even “congenital malformations” caused by the mutagenic qualities it holds. Aspartame, a common sweetener in most diet drinks, and all gum, has been studied also. Research has proven that it “breaks down in the body into byproducts that may include formaldehyde and formic acid” (an acid produced by ants.)(Rowlands, p. 16) But not all chemicals have even been tested. “Screening chemicals to see if they cause cancer is usually very expensive so not many natural chemicals have been subjected to the test.”(Fountain 34) In a normal cup of coffee, there are 1,000 plus chemicals, but only 26 of them have been tested, and 19 have been found to be carcinogens.(“The Adverse Effects of Food Addtiveson Health” 12) Some of these chemicals include benzene, caffeic acid, ethanol, formaldehyde and toluene.
There are definite effects of chemicals involving children also. Children tend to absorb the chemicals faster and are more highly affected than an average person. Their small bodies and high metabolism allow their systems to absorb substances faster, meaning their functions are affected at a higher risk.
Pesticides are another concern of many. Right now over 400 chemicals are allowed to be used on crops to kill weeds, insects and other pests that may attack crops. For example “non-organic apples are sprayed over 16 times with 36 different chemicals.” (Fountain 36) What is worse is that washing these fruits and vegetables does little to remove the chemical, even with peeling them. These pesticides have shown a link with serious diseases, such as male infertility, Parkinson’s disease, and even Cancer. Studies have shown that men have even shown signs of a lower testosterone level. There are organizations and companies that regulate what goes into our food. But even with all the regulations, the pesticides still show up. For example, there are chemicals that were banned a very long time ago, some decade ago, such as DDT and other pesticides, which still linger in our soil and show up regularly in residue tests.
Although pesticides are a concern, they have their purposes. When used in a careful manner, they are supposed to minimize the loss of crops and plants, and keep prices down. Some people are even worried that the government will try and restrict these pesticides too much. For example “W.E. Spencer, an Arizona Citrus farmer, predicted that if the Government restricts pesticides too much, The U.S.-similar to its dependence on foreign oil-will have to rely on foreign pesticides banned in this country to stock the produce bins and grocery aisles at the local supermarket.” Some also argue that this scenario isn’t likely, as foreign countries have to comply with the U.S. standards.
Mutagens are another widely used additive that has both it’s benefits and drawbacks. Mutagens are different from most additives as the human body does not have the metabolic space to metabolize and render them harmless. They have been proven harmful to the fetus, as it reacts with and injures the chromosomes and genes that carry its genetic code. They are also fully capable of damaging and killing the living cells. This can even result in mental retardation. Most substances that are found to be mutagenic have also been proven to have carcinogenic actions.
Antibiotics are another type of additive that is put into our foods. Antibiotics have been transformed from a simple drug into a serious additive. Every year, more than half of the antibiotics produced, about 70%, go into the agriculture business.(“Antibiotics and Food” 1) Antibiotics are injected into cows, chickens, and other factory raised livestock, to make up for the unsanitary conditions of the overcrowded feed houses and coops. They are loaded into the animals so much that it has reduced the useful lifespan of the drug by about 30%.(Suzuki 1) This misuse and lead to resistant infections in humans. The problem is that with the overuse of these drugs, the bacteria has evolved into “super drugs” that are immune to our antibiotics.
Clearly there are two sides to this question. Food additives do have a purposeful reason to be added to our foods, but it is so important that it has to be a threat to our health? There are other methods that could be used to replace these harmful substances, such as organic foods. Studies show that organic foods are not only safer, but they have higher levels of vitamins and nutrients than others. (Everybody’s going Organic, should you? 4) They even have found them to contain more of the “cancer fighting compound called Lycopene and show higher antioxidant activity than most brands.”(‘Simply Organic 1) With the use of organic foods there is a lower occurrence of disease and allergies, as well as a higher occurrence of the nutrients that are thought to slow the ageing process.
Clearly there is too much of a risk in the chemicals that we are putting into our bodies. We can not be productive and live to our fullest when our own food is pulling us down. There is definitely a need for the assurance of safety with the production of our foods. If we want to increase our health, reduce the risks of cancer, and bring our society to a healthier life, then we must change some things about the way we do things.

"Rain"

2007-01-30T19:00:00.000-08:00

There are times in our lives, when we feel for whatever reason, that we are being drenched with nothing but rain. Rain, it seems to be a two sided thing. In some cases it is so beautiful; a graceful release from the everyday, even to the extent that we have a sudden urge to run and play in it. (Which is really exciting, if you haven't tried it I highly recommend it.) But there are times when rain seems to be not-so beautiful. It is going to rain in our lives, we have to be prepared for it. God does not promise us a easy ride, full of "sunshine and rainbows". Sure he loves to grace us with happiness, but it doesn't always work out that way. It's like the story of the Wise and Foolish man. The wise man was prepared for the rain, he had a sturdy foundation, he choose to build his life on the teachings of Jesus. The foolish man wasn't quite prepared, and the storm overwhelmed him, destroying his house. The storm is going to come, sooner or later it will rain. It will rain allot. The question is do we have the right foundation to make our way through it, and come out a stronger individual.

It is argued, of whether our trials are the workings of God, or mere coincidence. I personally feel, he wants us to live our lives without trials. But seeing as we are human and often stubborn, we make him show us the long way home. He tells us in scripture that with trials, we develop perseverance with the trials we face. I've personally seen this in my life. There have been certain things in my life, that weren't quite "good" per say, but at the same time if I hadn't of gone through them, or done some of the things I did, I wouldn't be the strong christian young lady I am to this day.

We watched a video during our church lesson the other day that impressed me. It is called the "Nooma Videos" all by Rob Bell. There are 14 in the series, I saw number one. I urge to go to Nooma.com and check it out, you can actually watch the whole "Rain" (#1) video on the website. It is a beautiful example of the love God has for us. The way he clothes us in his grace, wrapping his arms around us. Psalm 55: vs. 22 says "Cast your cares on the lord and he WILL sustain you. He will NEVER let the righteous fall. Psalm 46 vs. 1-3 "God is our refuge and STRENGTH, and Ever-Present help in trouble. Therefore we WILL NOT fear, thought the Earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

He tells us he cannot ignore the cry of the afflicted. He is there by our side ALWAYS. And we should feel so SAFE in that thought.

God Bless!

<3 Kayleigh

Breaking the ICE...

2006-12-28T17:48:00.000-08:00

Every now and again, I get this sudden urge to write something. The urge is usually overbearing, there is always a central point. Last night, while listening to a bit of George Winston's beautiful piano, I had an urge to write. My mind somehow focused on a single idea, ICE. I don't know how, or why, but I had to sit down and write about this subject, and I did. With this in mind, it lead me to a thought.

There are so many words to be spoken, to be written that rarely ever get thought of. How many times do we actually sit and think about things that aren't really needed, or certain. If we just started to pick words out of the air, and arrange them into forms; imagine the masterpieces that could be created. Poetry for instance, is it really a talent, or do people fail to open their minds enough to create it? With simple words, a mind can be changed completely.

There are no wrongs to be written with words, as long as we choose them wisely of course. There are a thousand stories lying behind their doors, should we dare to open them.

I really hope this made any bit of sense. Sometimes I just get these ideas, and they seem so interesting I can't help but write about them.

<3 Kayleigh

Worship or Romance?

2006-11-24T20:30:00.000-08:00

I was reading an article today, finding something interesting to end my boredom. An interesting point caught my attention and got me to thinking. The article was titled "Undivided Worship" by Susie Shellenberger. It was talking about our worship, and how even the most moving songs, we think, are really questionable on who they are focused on.

Read the lyrics to this song:

"I want to know You; I want to hear Your voice
I want to know You more.I want to touch You;
I want to see Your face, I want to know You more."

Now does that seem a bit weird? If not read it again. It seems as if we are romanticizing God. Instead of truly worshiping him with all our hearts, we seem as if we could be singing to some boyfriend of ours. Which questions what our minds are really focused on. It doesn't mean they are wrong, it just seems a bit under-classifying God. It is like we are putting him on the same level as a friend in our 1st period class, when he is our maker, our savior. The one who created us all!

But take a look at these lyrics:

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee;
How great Thou art! How great Thou art!

There is no question what so ever who we are singing to. All the focus is on the greatness of God, his power, his mighty Grace!

This is just something to think about. I just really thought it was interesting, that we could actually Romanticize God, and not even realize it. I hadn't ever really thought about this before, but it is certainly true. God wants our all when we worship. I truly believe that when you worship, you have to give your all, 100%, no holding back what-so-ever, to feel the spirit of God upon you. If he is urging you to close your eyes and become closer to him, then you need to do just that. If he urges you to lift you hands, or clap, then don't hold back! Give him all you've got, and don't be afraid of what others are thinking, because they don't have your life in their hands. I really believe that he sees that, and he fills you with his spirit when you give you all, 100%. And it is so beautiful!

God Bless,

Kayleigh

Driving!

2006-11-18T16:08:00.000-08:00

So today I went driving with my pepaw. It was actually not so bad. In fact I love it! I have been putting off the idea of getting out and learning how to drive for awhile now, so much that my family has started to think that I am scared to drive. They have this strange idea I have some phobia of driving which isn't so. So we went out on Redman Road, and he let me drive. I thought I was going to practice in a parking lot or something but no, I was on a actual road...cringe. It freaked me out at first but It was so fun, I actually got up to 40 miles an hour. I know that isn't fast, but for me who has never driven a car in my life, it is. I am very proud of myself...now I just have to study that retched test. sigh....

:)

~Kayleigh

Thoughts from a song

2006-11-17T18:49:00.000-08:00

"In the quite, in the stillness I know that you are God...I am restored by your presence." "There is no one else for me, none but Jesus. Crucified to set me free, now I live to bring him praise."

-Hillsong United

What a wonderful message. It is so comforting to know that Jesus loves us so much. How he died for you and me, and everyone on the face of this Earth whether they accept it or not. He is here with us holding out his loving arms whispering to us, we are his! It is such a beautiful message. All of our life is in him, all of our hope, all of our strength! There is no one else for us, none but Jesus. He is always there. Wow, it is unfathomable.

I just got the urge to share this, while I was listening to Hillsong United, they are so wonderful and inspirational.

Have a wonderful blessed day!

<3 Kayleigh

Art and other pictures

2006-11-17T14:36:00.000-08:00

These are pictures of art, and other things I am proud of. I hope you enjoy them!

This is a kind of bad picture, but oh well. On the left is the head BMW guy(executive maybe, I don't know what to call him) and the other one is my art teacher, Coach Lindley.
This is at the BMW contest, as I'm accepting my check from the head guy(far right in the suit) and that is my wonderful art teacher in the blue next to me. My picture is on the screen behind, but they cropped and I don't know why.

OK, this picture of me is bad but the drawing is really what counts. This is my famous "Lady in Blue" that won 2ND in state and BMW. I love it, there is nothing else to it. My pepaw thinks it's strange though, maybe it is, but I won me 250 dollars so I'm not complaining, and besides aren't artists supposed to be a bit strange? :)

This one is also a favorite. It was actually a minor, meaning it was the warm-up drawing before the major of this media. It actually has an interesting story behind it. Our assignment was to find a piece of architecture, a building of some kind that had character. So me and my memaw went to Little Rock, so I could photograph some of the houses in the historic district, seeing as most of those houses are absolutely beautiful! Well I was taking a picture of this(not this one I drew) house, and this teenage boy comes out and asks me why I'm taking a picture of his house, so I'm kinda scared, like what do I say? So I told him it was an art assignment, and he just kinda looked at me like he had no idea what the word "art" meant. And for the record it wasn't like I was on their property, I was on the street a ways away taking a simple shot. Well we drove away, and that is when I found this wonderful house and I believe it worked quite well. It is matted also, it just doesn't show it. This one hasn't competed.

Again, I am very sorry for the odd shape of this one, my camera couldn't capture the whole thing. This one is titled "Joy". It is of one of my dear friends, and expresses so much Joy ,so I felt the name fit well. This one is also much larger in person, approximately 18x16 I believe, I'm not sure exactly. It won honorable mention in the Emotionalism category at state.

This is a picture of my "Pointe of Grace". I did a bit of research for this name, I found that the tip of the toe on a ballerina is called a "pointe". So that is where the name originates from. This one I did last year, I am very proud of it. At first I didn't like it, and my Art Teacher, Coach Lindley, had to almost Twist my arm to finish it...but I am very grateful because it is one of my favorites. It is about 18x24, larger with the full matte. It won 1st in the ASU Beebe contest, and has yet to compete in State, but it will this year. (sorry for the odd shape of the matte, it is normal in real life I promise. :)

This is a picture of Kayla Oudthone and I at the BMW overall competition. This is her piece, that won overall in state and BMW. It is completely beautiful, and flawless. She won 1st I believe, and then overall, and I won 2ND, and honorable mention for the overall competition. Fun times!

Beautiful world

2006-11-11T19:46:00.000-08:00

There are so many beautiful, wonderful things in this world that we overlook far too often. Too many times we focus on the negative when we fall, when we feel alone. If we could see the beauty and joy around us, it could all be well again. I hope for both myself and others, that we get to experience this beauty firsthand. To be able to dive head first in the radiant wonders of this world. To see the glory in the towering mountains, the grace in each and every flower, the brilliance in the showering rain. I feel so light and wonderful when I think of the things God has put on this Earth just for the soul purpose of letting us experience his beauty. We could be so worry free, so happy and free if we could see the majesty in his works, every single day. I vow to myself, that at least before I die, I will go in all the world, to capture his beauty, and let it amaze me firsthand. I want to see the beautiful fall leaves on the trees, towering over a country road. I wish to stand, feeling like a mere ant, in front of a towering snow peaked mountain. I wish to fly across the beautiful ocean, plant myself on the edge of the sea and paint my heart out. To lie under the stars, feeling wrapped in a blanket of light. I want to run in a field of flowers, falling amidst their graceful blooms.

His majesty is engulfing us everyday, if only we could feel wrapped in it, as we are. Such beautiful things lie on this Earth, and I want to witness everyone of them.

Check out this video, it is so beautiful it could almost make you cry.

http://mayyoubeblessedmovie.com/

Have a wonderful Blessed Day!

<3 Kayleigh

Family History

2006-11-11T11:56:00.000-08:00

Isn't it just strange thinking about the genealogy of our families, and the thousands of ancestors we have never heard of? If you really give it much thought, we all could be related, since everything started with Adam and Eve. It is as if we are one huge family, all of us, our genes have just been mixed together too many times to count, making it seem as if there is no possible connection.

I made a strange, and a bit frightening discovery today. Me and my memaw were looking at the genealogy records on the Internet, racking our brains trying to think of the names of my great- great-great grandmother and father. I learned my great great grandmother's maiden name was actually "Moore". The surprised me because I have a good friend by the name of "Moore". So I was talking about it, and it just so happens that all of her sisters, that held the name"Moore" also, had red hair. Well my "friend" has red hair. This could be a huge coincidence, but it is a bit frightening to think that me and him could be distant-distant-distant cousins by some odd chance. I just had to write about this because it freaked me out way too much to pass it by.

Like I said, this may be a huge coincidence, but it is all so fascinating to think about.

<3>

My Photography

2006-11-04T13:07:00.000-08:00

He is Amazing

2006-11-02T22:56:00.000-08:00

God is truly amazing. It is just so amazing the way he works, in people , in situations, in every way possible. God can take the most unlikely place and time and turn it into a memorable experience, he can pour down his spirit on you in the depth of your despair and automatically you are lifted, high, where the enemy could never reach you.

What an amazing God we have, he is always there. Never in all my life has he left me. There have been times where I have hated him from the depths of my soul, wanting nothing to do with him, but he was there. I didn't see it then, and I couldn't understand it. He was there sheltering me and watching, waiting until that night when I'd had enough, and just cried out to Jesus, cried out to him. He was there. Gosh he was there and I could feel his spirit. It is so beautiful, the love he offers us, and holds for us. It never goes away!

Tonight, a friend showed me some things. He showed me that God is truly amazing, that he can do anything. Whether it be healing someone, touching someone who could never be reached by ordinary means, or just sheltering us under his wing.

There is nothing more beautiful and wonderful than the spirit of God being poured down on you. The feeling is like no other, to know that God is in that place, his spirit is all around you and he is there listening to you worship, hearing your thoughts, whispering the things he wants you to hear. Wow, nothing in this world could be more lovely than that. It is unfathomable.

May God Bless you in the coming days, and may you truly see him. May he show you his love and grace, and pour down his spirit and his love on you.

<3 Kayleigh

More Mission Trip pictures

2006-07-31T14:43:00.000-07:00

This is the house one of our groups worked on. This is one of the erie neighborhoods, withthe tall weeds, open doors, broken windows, water, etc

if you look closely, you can see the x, this house was in the 9th ward

Down town New Orleans

Note the spray paint and keep out sign

Water in a can

The showers...otherwise known as, a wooden box

with the luxury of a half torn tarp. But hey, they worked!

inside the house

the all awesome Bobby, and his humor

all of us, and the owner in front

Mission Trip- Katrina Relief

2006-07-31T13:26:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I just got back from my mission trip saturday afternoon. We left sunday morning and got there about 8:00 pm. it was such an amazing experience. We went as volunteers for the Tammany Oaks Disaster Relief. All together we worked on 4 houses over the week and finished them all. We were split up into 3 groups within our youth group. Each group had about 8 teens and 3 adults. I was with Roy, Bobby and Mr. Benford.

So we woke up at 6:00 every morning, put on out faded mustard yellow t-shirts they had for us to wear(they washed them every night for us)and eat, not worring about make-up, hair, etc, and got on the bus to head to our house we were assigned to. The houses were about an hour away. When we first drove through the the neighborhoods it was alitle bit overwhelming because they were deserted, and the doors were wide open with the windows broken, some of the roofs tarped over. You could see the mark the army placed on the houses after searching, as if branded. They were marked with a giant red X with the top number being the date, the right was the amount of animals found alive, the left was which army searched them, and finally the bottom was the amount of bodies found. Fortunatly I didn't see any with a number on bottom, but some other people said they saw them. I think God was sheilding my eyes or something. But the houses had this erie feeling, it was quiet and it didn't help anything that it was a windy, overcast day so it was gloomy and depressing, like a horror movie. Some of the streets still had 2or 3 inches of standing water, because the drains were so badly clogged with mud.

The house were trashed, destroyed. Our house wasn't as bad as it was it if was untouched, you could walk. But our owners showed us the next door house. THe door was wide open, so you could see inside. THe furniture had been picked up by the water and strowed about, you couldn't walk a foot into that house. It was impossible. But the house we worked on was bad enough. They had cleaned some of it already. The house was to be condemmed, meaning it was going to be demolished no matter what, so we didn't have to gut it. We just helped Barbara try and find the salvagable stuff. These houses, were unbelievable when you entered them. Imagine your house, with everything you have out on the floor, soiled with mud and water, furniture toppled over, clothes stained and decomposing, glass broken, the ceileng completly gone, you could see right through to the attic. The floors covered in your belongings, insalation, ceiling, etc, some places up to your knees or higher. It was horrid, and it smelled terrible. Everything that used to be shiny and pretty, was tarnished and ruined, pictures were ruined with colors bleeding together. These houses were immerssed in water for months, some over the rooftops. We had to wear masks, gloves, goggles,and heavy duty boots. They said only a few weeks ago they were wearing full body suits that looked like ghost buster outfits. They told us not to open the refrigerators, no matter what. We had to duct tape them completly if they were to be moved out, becasue of the stuff growing in it for a year without electricity. They said the fumes could literally knock you out.

We(our group alone) worked on two houses. We were extremely lucky to have had such sweet owners. The first owners were a couple. They found softballs in their attick and gave them all to us, so we got one and signed it and wrote God Bless, Good Luck, Etc on it and gave it to them. It was the best thing we good have done for them besides giving them our love and compassion. They signed one for us also. I now have a ball that survived Katrina! But it was so awesome and amazing to find something that meant so much to this women, to see her face light up because something so dear to her was found unharmed. It made it all worthwhile to see the effect this great dead played on these people and knowing that your making a differnce, maybe even leading them closer to God. At the end of the day when we had found everything we were going to find, she says "Well this isn't much for thirty five years, Oh well! At least were still alive!" I could not have done that. Their attitudes were amazing, for instance we found the husband's golf trophies(and clearly this guy was an amazing golpher) but he didn't want them. You could tell he was simply glad and thankful to have his wife. It was amazing.

The second house we got to gutt. We tore all the sheet rock off the walls, tore out the base boards, the appliances, plumbing(even though he had done most of the appliance and plumbling work already), carpet, got all the muck out, etc. We stripped the house of everything except the boards that held it up. Our owner got us doughnuts and drinks everyday. One day he even got us ice cream when the ice cream truck went by. He noticed that another group was working on another house accross the street and got them doughnuts also. He was so nice.

Chris, my amazing youth minister!, and his group found a goldfish on the window seal with a fish bowl on the other side of the room. They had mustard bottles everywhere outside becasue they all came from Big Lots. They said it looked as if these people left in the middle of everything because there was a pizza in the oven, dishes in the sink, clothes and water in the washing machine, etc. It was as if time just stopped suddenly.

There was so many weird stories we heard fromother groups. One foung a dalmation on the bed. :( Someone found a baby shark in the bath tub, about 2 feet long. Someone found literally crazed fish in the pool. (I mean just think about the water they've been in, they would be crazed). People found aligators, we had a refrigerator on the roof, with the door on the other side of the roof and it wasn't even the owner's. It's just crazy and unbelivable.

While we were there we showered in a wood box, drank water from a can, and eat peanut butter sandwiches everyday from half molded bread. It was deffenatly differn't. I am glad to be home, even though it was an amazing experience. I am glad to have water that doesn't taste like alluminum, am gald I can go to sleep whenever I want without having to beg people to turn the lights off, be quiet and go to sleep at midnight. I am glad I don't have a flash light Nazi outside my door(Jane)(long story). LOL But even though it was hard work, and intense, and a bit stressful at times, it was an amazing experience. It helped me to deffenatly be thankful of all I have, and reminded me to not get so caught up in my stuff, because it could be gone tommorow, just like that. It's like the parable in the bible about the rich man who had a really good crop but he didn't have a big enough barn to store it all so He built another. God called him a fool(which was probably pretty scary to be called a fool by God) and told him his life was going to be taken from him that very night. It could all be gone an hour from now. It's scary.

But I'm going to put some pictures on here of the destruction and stuff, if this posts this time, I wrote all this yesterday and it froze up and I lost it all, I was furious.

God Bless!

Kayleigh

God's Creation

2006-06-16T13:06:00.000-07:00

The trees sway with such grace,

as the flowers bloom in the sunlight.

Birds chirp in their nests with a cheerful song.

Everything is perfect, in tune with the wind,

the skies, the seas.

Full of life, full of love, full of wonder.

God's grace shines through brighter than ever;

Brighter than the sun, taller than towering mountains,

his majesty reigns over all.

He sheds his beauty on this world he created.

Every creature , every nat, every single blade of grass,

frequently forgotten, belongs to him.

Your Sacrifice

2006-06-15T13:39:00.000-07:00

The stains of your blood carried me far.

The scars on your hands washed me clean.

With the freedom to fly, I took off into

your arms, rose above these mortal chains.

Like a new born baby I rose out of the darkness,

into your arms I hear you with glee,

A new born child to set free.

Jesus, your everything to me!

Your mercy and love set me free.

Just like an angel you rose, you flew

above this world.

What a mighty savior!

With a heart of joy

I live for today, not tomorrow.

I reach for the skies not the ground.

Because your high above me,

and I want to find you; meet you face to face.

Then one day we can sing together in

a sweet remembrance of your sacrifice.

The Living Water of Christ

2006-06-15T13:20:00.000-07:00

Living Water;

nothing but a stream of water

upon shallow waves.

Whispering winds combine

with the laughter of the day.

Among the trees, among the mountains

we find one breath of life.

A cold and refreshing glimpse of what

we have and could be.

The lost souls, only skimming the surface,

with no idea of what's in store.

They search for water but find nothing

to restore their tounges to new.

The answer is right before their eyes,

formed by God himself.

The faith and hope of Jesus Christ.

The answer was never deceiving.

they're cries were just too faint,

Not by words but by heart.

But the soul of a believer,

deep and rich with water,

breath for a new day,

with life for our wonderful savior

Jesus Christ.

My crazy summer.

2006-06-01T14:43:00.000-07:00

Well right officially I'm out of school. I am so wonderfully happy. But it's weird because I've been waiting for this for so long and now it's like- Now What? I have summer school in a week for a whole month, maybe longer. I'm excited about p.e. because we get to go places and I have a good friend that will be in there with me so it's not so bad but still. At least I wont be bored. But right now as I see it I have so much going on I don't have a summer. My dad want s me to go up to Rodgers for a week, then my mom wants some time(which is both fine) but I feel like I need to do the whole "your scheduled here", "no, sorry, that time is booked" thing. Which is sad. I wish I could go to uplift but I can't even do that! It's so crazy.

The Madness of a Storm

2006-06-01T14:30:00.000-07:00

The wind shapes its fingers through my hair,
whispering secrets in the night.
The meaning of out lives float away,
under the shelter of their flying colors.

Speeds pick up,
stranger by the minute,
beating its fists against
everything in their way.

The first drop of the evening
hits with a shuddering thud.
Soaking in the creatures that haven't
left the threatening grounds.

The skies begin to Roar,
with their angry voices
they cry into the night,
shouting their threats to the world.
The trees are pushed aside,
lifting their roots from their comforting homes.

The clouds overflow with all their might,
casting out their drowning floods.

The skies are split in two,
and with one flick of his wrist,
lightning strikes the darkness.

Fingertips to rooftops

2006-05-11T20:12:00.000-07:00

I also got this while listening to classical music. It is very inspiring. I'm not sure it quite makes much since but I guess it doesn't have to.

Fingertips to rooftops; feel the sunlight.

Such a beautiful day

and Dusk is far away; let your hair down,

let your fears hide beneath you feet.

Cast the skies to blue. Paint a canvas of a lovely, lovely you.

Eyes shut, entertaining lids of honesty.

Dancing is the key to wonder,

to a tune of a thousand vacant voices.

Sing tunes and voices,

with such a beautiful day.

Rays hit my face, this tune is growing louder,

Escalating to the surface of the water.

And oh how the wind is kicking up, picking up the leaves

off the ground.

Float off far away to another ground,

another song,another sound

until we dance, good byes across the room.

Float off on a cloud of glistening silence.

Eyes open, all is well. Paint a Lovely, so Lovely

you.

Forbidden Forest

2006-05-11T20:00:00.000-07:00

Here's a poem I thought of while listening to some classical music one of my friends let me borrow. Not much but oh well, here goes.

One Drop,

All is still as the night closes

in among us.

The quickest thread of light

floating away on a cloud,

drifts upon unwanted grounds.

The sky rumbles in the distance,

with a second drop to match the first.

Creatures scatter their own way,

spreading their wings to fly away upon the sun set.

As night closes in among us.

Retreat

2006-04-30T11:53:00.000-07:00

Right now I am exhausted. I've been at a retreat all weekend and now I feel like I could sleep all day if I had time(which I don't). Well we were supposed to go to Pedegene Mountain(sorry I have no idea how to spell it...oh well.) but It poured down raining and we had to stay at the teen center the whole time. And of course it wasn't the same as if we were actually somewhere serene and peaceful but It was ok. We had to design all the lessons ourselves. Complete with songs, scripture, theme, everything. And it was a great bonding time for the girls especially. Yes we had our fun...some I'm not going to repeat. Inside Jokes, the whole works. We had to sleep in separate rooms than the boys(of course) and we decided we were going to sing. Well we finished our second song and one of the girls had been halfway asleep and all of a sudden we hear"Guys, God is asleep, you should too"...We about fell on the floor laughing. It was hilarious. But It was a good learning experience...Lets jut hope out next retreat doesn't get cancelled and messed up.

2006-04-30T11:40:00.000-07:00

Well, LTC (Leadership Training for Christ) is officially over for the year. Next year our theme is "Unstoppable" from Acts. I am very excited about this one. I already read all of Acts and have many ideas for art and I have a poem for the Christian poetry category. Here's the poem:

UNSTOPPABLE

Unstoppable, is the grace of God.

The strength in his word will never fade.

Unstoppable, he knows no bounds;

consuming every bit of my pain.

And Oh how unstoppable I can be

when his grace flows freely through me.

The winds will try to grab me,

and death will pull me down,

But his arms will lift me up,

placing my feet firmly on

solid ground.

Hectic Week

2006-04-06T20:07:00.000-07:00

Hello, so I thought I'd write since I haven't in a while. This week has been kind of hectic with about 4 competitions coming up. I've been practicing like crazy for solo and ensemble(clarinet) which is about a week away, then I have BMW contest for art this week which I had to make sure my work was all ready to go. THEN right after they get back I have to go to State competition and I still need to finish another piece by the 13th. The one I'm working on right now is of a friend, and I think its going to turn out really cool. She's jumping(or soaring rather) in the air and I'm probably going to replace the background with some vine type flowers blowing in the breeze like around her. Not to much, but a simple balance. Yes I have deffenant ideas. But it has to be done by the 13th if I want to send it to state... Ha ha as I cringe...Endless work ahead of me. Then there's piano on top of that...So yeah hectic is an under statement.

And onto another subject, I wish geometry was NEVER invented! Oh my gosh this stuff is KILLING ME! I mean who can understand it? NOT ME! Yes...I was about freaking out in class the other day because I wasn't there when he explained everything, so I had no clue. And I have a group of friends in there, we always work in a group and it was so funny because they were trying to explain it and it was going strait in then strait out. It was not sticking no matter how hard I tried...Actually it wasn't funny at all...Sort of. So here I am having no clue, and I still have no clue...If anybody is some kind of Geometry Genius...PLEASE HELP!

-Kayleigh =)

We are Trully Blessed!

2006-03-31T16:32:00.000-08:00

We are given to a God so Great!
Only he has the power to let the sun shine;
or moon glow in the night sky.

We are given to a God so Beautiful!
He lets the mountains and the seas reflect his own beauty.
He creates the beauty in the stars, and the twinkle
and little kids eyes.

We are blessed with a God So Powerful!
He has the power to crush us all with one swipe of his hand.
But he doesn't.
He Loves us.
He delights in everyone of his children.

How wonderful is his love for us!
How amazing is his precense.

I can feel him in this very room.
He makes my hands shiver;
giving me goose bumbs.
That weird fuzzy feeling;
best "high" in the world.
Too bad most people don't know that.

Thats where I come in.
I want to go to the end of the Earth!
Send ME!
I will stand up for my king!

Thats the least I can do for a God so wonderful and Great.

You Make Me Whole

2006-03-30T19:28:00.000-08:00

Count the stars in the sky.
Reach to the heavens.
His ever breathing light shines on our paths;
helping us face our many demons.
Look into the night, though the mountains are dark and the skies are gloomy;
we are surrounded by a power so great!

In you father I am whole.
Like the birds trace the wind of the seasons:
I will follow you.
In your word I am great; I AM STRONG!

The winds move with a sense of grace; swirling through my hair.
In them I hear your voice; reaching out to me.
Engulfing my mind in your presence;
Searching for something to make new again.

You restore my light; you power my soul!
You make me whole.

Your wisdom is never failing; evil trembles with the sound of your voice.
So I shout, Lord! You are mine and I am Yours, I give you my all.

Make me new; so I may dwell among your presence for the rest of my days.
AMEN!

Church stuff

2006-03-28T19:55:00.000-08:00

Today was quite an interesting day. My mom got an email from my Aunt Jenn who lives in Texas and boy was it surprising. It was an interview about the recent shooting of a Church of Christ preacher. The interviewer interviewed a Baptist preacher, bringing up the church of Christ church itself. It was basically an all over attack on our part. It kinda made me mad just a little bit. I mean do any of us really have the right to judge anybody else? Does anyone have the right to say your wrong? Isn't that Jesus's job? So why are so many people at each other's throghts about doctrine and what's right and what's wrong.
You know I may not know any thing, after all I'm "just a teenager" as some older or "wiser" people would argue we don't know anything. But I think we get caught up in all of that and bypass our our purpose, what God wants from us. I mean really what good is going to come from bickering about a little hand clapping in service going to do for anyone. I just get sick of it. For instance, one night me and some friends got on the subject of some of this at church and I said something and they were like SHHH! the door is open! Like someone was going to persecute us for it. It really is ridiculous. That kind of upset me, because I know that's not what God would want from us. Not at all. Why can't people just put up with little things that really doesn't matter and get along. Sacrifice just a little. Anyway, to end things on a more positive note,
I'll have some poetry to post on here later, I love poetry! :) But that's all for now...It's getting late and I have reading to do(again). So Have a WONDERFUL JUDGE FREE DAY!!!! " ;)

God Bless!, Kayleigh

alittle bit about me

2006-03-26T19:48:00.000-08:00

Hello,

Right now, in about two hours, it will officially be spring break. Some people on their way to exciting places...Me? I'm sitting at home...newly discovering the world of the BLOG. It kinda makes me laugh actually. Wow. anyway... so what do you write in these things? is what I am trying to figure out. Do you discuss "worldly Matters" or go into great detail about your past life? hmmmmm... well lets just start here. Who am I?
I'm Kayleigh. My passions in life are... number one would be my faith. I am a Christian and I am not afraid to say so. I love art, music, photography, performing arts, being with family and friends and so many other things.
I plan on becoming an art therapist in my future. Iv'e always known I wanted to be n Art Therapist but now I'm discovering a whole other side to it. I want to(some how, I'm not sure how to add these together yet but I WILL figure it out) combine Art Therapy with some form of missions work. What better way to serve God and live my life than to branch out of my everyday "bubble" and help people come to know Christ? I see no other way. I know God is leading me in this direction and I really hope he explains it soon because It's starting to become a bit confusing.
Well, it's getting late and I have some reading to do so I will write more later!

Kayleigh ;)

New at this!

2006-03-26T19:08:00.000-08:00

Hi!

This is my first ost on my first blog and I really have no clue what I'm doing. But here goes.
I decided to join because I wanted to post a comment, not wanting a blog but know I have one. Who knows what will come of this. Maybe it will lead to something of great inspiration, maybe this will be my new enjoyment for a while to come...that is untill something else interesting comes along. Well maybe you will hear more of me and maybe you wont! Untill next time,

Kayleigh