My Latest peices

Un-defined.-Watercoler on raw canvas

This one is slightly strange. It represents the idea, that yes she is fractured, she is imperfect, but she is undefined. She isn't defined as a negative being, or a positive one at that. She is fractured, broken, but in the midst of it all she's standing out. She isn't in one generalized form, she's everywhere. She's undefined.

This is a grouping, of differn't flowers, in differnt mediums on Grass matt.


This is a start to my AP concentration of words. It is from Psalms 143:3.

Have you ever had those moments, when you know that you need to fix something in your life, and you know that it is dragging you down tremendously, but you can't do anything about it. Like you feel like a part of your mind is working, but the other half is frozen still.
I can't convince myself that I need what I know with all my heart I need. I feel like my heart and my mind are two conflicting siblings fighting over and over. And I can't figure out how to end it.
I don't know what I need. I know I need the will of God in my life, and I need his spirit ruling my life, but sometimes it seems too simple for my mind to comprehend that "ok, i know I understand, I will obey". I can't do it and I feel like just screaming or giving up totally because how can I ever figure anything out when I feel like everyone I confide in fails me?? I feel like the ones I can trust, or the ones I thought I could trust don't really care, or maybe they care but they don't understand me and don't know how. And that is the main reason I don't like confiding in people, because people can't be like Jesus and see you the exact same way as they did before. They can't do it and they forever mark you as different or feel sorry and all that crap and I'm tired of it all. I hate everything that I'm buried in. I will be blunt. I don't care, I hate it, and I hate that people have to ignore me and act like everything is alright when I need them the most, when they are supposed to help me. But I feel no help, I am just as alone as when I started. Who in the world am I supposed to trust, besides God. But the thing is, I need to trust in God and I do, but he sends us to aid in the process also, so where is all the loving caring people in this picture, including only a few that are supposed to get the picture. I just cant figure it out and I feel like my brain needs a rest.

I want to be able to say "screw you I hate you I refuse, So what I dont care about you anymore...but I don't know how. I cant release it and it kills me so much, every day it kills me. Everyone else, they found a way to tell it off and let it go but this is holding on too tightly and I can't even breathe. I would kill to be able to look this in the face and say "you don't define me" but I don't even know how to, make myself want to try to, be able to get to where I can say it.