Where is he found...when there is so much to distort the eye from the essential
being that we are to live for. Where can we run to, when even our own faith in
him is being distorted and strained through the hands of others, ringing every
form of life into a bottomless cup that will only run dry.
You have no idea how much I long to be utterly and wholly without strain, or conflict,
or drama in my relationship with Jesus. I feel like it is so simple, but the pain of
earth can so easily distort. I am sick of twiddling down my faith to fit into a mold,
to fit a liking or a expectation.
I'm sick. SO sick. SO SO SO sick. Because if this is Jesus...I don't want it. If what I am feeling right now, is the real deal, then this is not love. This is not free love of a saviour...this is earthly control fit into a fairy tale story...set to keep more
people under a will that is not their own. I'm sick of man made doctrine and plastic religion. I don't need that. I need Jesus.
NO wonder so many people think of Christianity and get sick to their stomachs,
or find the term humorous. Please just keep your world, keep your expectations...I
want Jesus. I want to be able to serve him freely, but what HE says and HE
instructs...if I can't have that, I don't need any of it.
Saturday, August 01, 2009
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