Sunday, June 07, 2009

Oh me and my...life decisions.

Lately I have been feeling like my life has been changing. Of course my life has always been changing, and everything in life is in constant motion. But this change is something that I am so unsure of...not unsure as it not welcoming, but maybe confusion is closer to the word I am looking for.

I thought that I had my life all planned out. I thought I knew every piece to this puzzle and it was so easy to say, I am this major and I will be doing this in 10 years. Right now I am completely lost. I used to at least have a compass pointing me in a general direction but no, no compass no map no nothing. Yikes! I am so confused and upside down about so many things, and God has been sending me these differn't thoughts, differn't ways that my life could be lived and I have no idea where my place should be.

I want to be a missionary, but is it in the states or in Africa. I am an artist, do I devote my craft to graphic design or to art therapy, or am I to take a "risky" road and be simply a fine art major. I don't know because see when I look down the road and vision my self in 10 years I see Jesus. I see him helping people...and I see him using my art to do that. I can not see Graphic Design anywhere in that. But do I take the career field that will make me enough money to be able to support myself, or do I trust him. DO I defy everyone around me, including my family, telling me I should be "smart" and make my education count. Make money! Because that is the important thing in life! And no they dont say that...but I feel like that is what I am saying when I chose graphic design. I dont' know. I am soo confused. All I know is he is my future. He is alive. His church should be alive...and that brings up another frustrating confusion that I can't even begin to explain right now.

I know I have a lot of thinking and following and praying and trusting and be movable...plyable....because I guess that is his plan to be able to mold me and direct me. I thank him and praise him that I am not alone in this...it's such a comfort to know he leads me. Pray for me if you read this. Thank you. :)

Love KB

2 comments:

Whitney said...

I will def. pray for you. I know that God will lead you to the right path and will use you for great things. Miss you lots!

Anonymous said...

I'm praying for you and everything will be okay, I promise!
Worrying is the least helpful emotion; I tend to worry way tooo much and it's never worth anything, so stay away from it!
--Katie!
P.S. I got your postcard--thank you! :)

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